Page 74 of Pull Me Under

The change in his face is immediate. Pain, quickly hidden. He looks away towards the harbour, jaw tightening.

‘She’s managing.’ The word sounds like it’s dragged out of him. ‘Good days and bad days. Mostly she just works. Opens at six, closes at four, goes upstairs, does it again. Like she’s afraid that if she stops moving, she’ll⁠—’

He doesn’t finish. Doesn’t need to.

Tom and I don’t do heart-to-hearts. We’ve been mates since primary school – that’s twenty-odd years of communicating through pints and silences and the occasional grunt that passes for emotional support. But I’ve watched him watch Nina since sixth form. Thirteen years of standing close enough to catch her if she falls and far enough away that she never has to ask him to move. Before Peter, during Peter, and now after. Careful. Patient. Never pushing, never asking, just … there.

It’s complicated. Whatever he feels for her – it’s complicated in ways I don’t fully understand and he’s never explained.

‘You want to talk about it?’ I ask.

He snorts. ‘No.’

‘Okay.’

‘It’s not—’ He stops. Starts again. ‘She was his. Peter’s. That’s not going to change just because he’s gone.’

‘I know.’

‘And she’s not ready for anything. Might never be. I’m not waiting around hoping she’ll—’ He cuts himself off, shakes his head. ‘It’s not like that.’

‘I didn’t say it was.’

‘You were thinking it.’

‘I was thinking you look like shit and you could use a pint.’

Tom almost smiles. ‘Yeah, well. Takes one to know one.’ He pushes off the doorframe. ‘So. You coming or what?’

‘I don’t know. Is it going to be weird? With Brynn there?’

‘Why would it be weird?’

‘No reason.’

Tom grins. The bastard actually grins. ‘She and Nina are friends now, apparently. During the storm, Nina said Brynn came to the café when the alarm went off and just sat with her until it was over. Didn’t ask, didn’t fuss. Just showed up.’

I hate the fact that I know this sounds like Brynn. Competent even in kindness. Practical about it, like empathy is just another skill you learn because someone might need it.

‘Is that a problem?’ Tom asks, watching me too carefully.

‘Why would it be a problem?’

‘No idea. You tell me.’

I don’t answer. Can’t, without admitting things I’m not ready to admit.

Tom’s grin widens. ‘That’s what I thought. See you at seven.’

He’s already walking away before I can respond, whistling off-key.

Brynn’s going to be at the pub.

I should definitely go to Newquay.

I’m definitely going to The Ship.

Fuck.