Page 174 of Pull Me Under

But Lily is my half-sister. And Lily is Jude’s half-sister. Which means the man I fell in love with is my sister’s brother, and my sister is the daughter of the woman he spent twenty years mourning.

It’s not wrong. We’ve established that, Lily and I, through several rounds of increasingly elaborate diagrams drawn on the back of a takeaway menu. No shared parents. No shared blood. Just shared wreckage.

But it’s complicated. And complicated is pretty much the Harding–Trelawney brand at this point.

‘It’s not just about Jude,’ I say. And it’s not a lie. ‘It’s about the shed. The boat. Grandad’s name on a harbour building that I’m not going to let disappear.’

Lily’s quiet for a moment. She’s learned things about me this week – picked them up the way sisters do, I suppose, not that I’d know. The way I go still when his name comes up. The way I check my phone and then pretend I wasn’t checking it. The way I’ve told her everything about Sea Salt Bay except the parts that matter most.

‘He hasn’t called,’ she says. Not unkindly.

‘No.’

‘Or texted.’

‘No.’

‘Could he? I mean, could he have lost his phone?’

I hesitate. ‘We’re both on the RNLI crew. There’s a group chat. He could find me easily enough, if he wanted to.’

‘But he hasn’t.’

‘No.’

‘Have you tried calling him?’

The question lands somewhere uncomfortable.

‘I could,’ I admit. ‘Same group chat. His number’s right there.’

‘But you haven’t.’

‘No.’

Lily raises an eyebrow. ‘So you’re both just … waiting? For the other one to crack first?’

‘It’s not that simple.’

‘Isn’t it?’ She tilts her head. ‘He’s my brother, Brynn. I’ve never met him, but he’s still my brother. And you’re my sister. And you’re both being idiots.’

I don’t have an answer for that.

‘I’ve spent nineteen years wondering about Kit and Jude,’ Lily continues. ‘Wondering what they’re like. Whether they’d want to know me. Whether they ever thought about me – except they didn’t even know I existed, so how could they?’ She shrugs. ‘And now I find out one of them is in love with my sister, and they’re both too stubborn to pick up a phone.’

‘He told me to get out. He didn’t let me explain.’

‘I know. You’ve told me.’ She reaches out, puts her hand on my arm. Stops me mid-fold. ‘But Brynn – he’d just found out his dad lied to him for twenty years. Found out his mum didn’t abandon him. That’s a lot to process. Maybe he needed time.’

‘A week is a lot of time.’

‘Is it?’ Lily tilts her head. ‘You’ve had a week too. You could have called. You didn’t.’

I stare at the half-packed bag.

She’s not wrong. That’s the worst part.

‘I don’t know where else to go,’ I admit. The words come out smaller than I want them to.