Page 116 of Pull Me Under

‘Can we?’ She tilts her head. ‘Because every time you keep me a secret, every time you hide, every time you look away, it feels like the whatever happened between our fathers is still ongoing. Just more quietly.’

I cross to her. Take her face in my hands. Make her look at me.

‘I’m not choosing him over you. I’m trying to figure out how to have both.’

‘And if you can’t?’

The question hangs there. Heavy. Impossible.

‘Then I’ll figure it out. I promise, Brynn.’

She searches my face. Looking for the lie. Looking for the weakness.

‘Prove it,’ she says softly. ‘That’s all I’m asking. Just … prove it.’

‘I will.’

I kiss her. She lets me. But there’s a hesitation there that wasn’t before – a holding back, a waiting to see.

When I pull away, her eyes are still guarded.

‘I have to go,’ I say. ‘Dad wants me at the harbour by nine.’

‘Of course he does.’

‘I’ll come by tonight. I promise.’

‘Okay.’ She steps back, creating distance. ‘I’ll be here.’

I grab my jacket. Pause at the door. Look back at her – standing in her disaster kitchen, morning light turning her hair to gold, arms wrapped around herself like she’s cold.

‘Tonight,’ I say again.

‘Tonight.’

But as I walk away, her words echo in my head.

Prove it. That’s all I’m asking.

And I wonder if I’m capable of giving her what she needs.

Or if I’m just going to let her down.

Reuben’s waiting.

He’s in the kitchen when I come through the door – sitting at the table, cup of tea in hand, eyes sharp. One of his good days, then. Clear and focused and missing nothing.

Brilliant. Just what I need.

‘You’re late.’

‘Got held up.’ I head for the kettle, avoiding his gaze. ‘Accounts took longer than I thought.’

‘The accounts.’ His voice is flat. ‘At seven in the morning?’

‘I was reviewing them before heading to the harbour.’

‘Where? At Tom’s again?’