Page 40 of How We Loved

“A family.” He stared at me directly.

“We are a family, Ben. And I want you to write songs, specifically ones about me and how fucking amazing I am, and I want to stand by the side of the stage and see you do what you are so incredibly talented at. And then when it’s done, we get to go home, you me and Hope, where no one can see in, no one knows who we really are, not unless we want them to.”

“Not an exclusive with Hello then?” he teased.

“Not even funny.”

“A little bit funny?”

This was my moment to say something without messing it up. To, for once in my damn life, say the right thing. “It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, Ben.”

His eyes narrowed. Yep, good job, Lilah, you bloody moron.

“That’s never been under discussion. I’m already a wife to you, mother to your child; we are tied together in every way…”

“Apart from by name.”

I nodded, unable to deny it. I remember all too clearly how I felt that first night with Hope and us all wanting to be tied together with consonants and vows. “It’s just I don’t know how I want to do it yet, and I want it to be our choice, not our parents, okay, mainly not my mothers.”

“I get it, Lilah.”

“You do?” He nodded and then reached across the space between us and pulled me towards him, planting a kiss on my mouth.

I will never get bored with kissing that man. That’s 100% official.

“Can I ask something though?” he said. “And I don’t want you to be offended.”

“Well, those words never bode well.”

“Can we leave before breakfast tomorrow? I really want to get back to Hope.”

“Oh, thank fuck. Me too.”