Page 22 of How We Loved

“Okay. Let's go. Bet you give up in ten minutes.”

“Fine. Bet is on.”

Under no circumstances did I plan to leave within ten minutes.

Eight minutes later.

Holy crap.

I needed to get out of there. The whole experience hadn’t been helped by the fact that when Ben walked in, the whole place fell totally silent. Lots of expectant women rubbed their bumps while simultaneously trying to edge away from their partners. “It’s Ben Chambers,” whispered around the room, and it wasn’t all that quiet.

“Hey,” he pulled off his utterly useless baseball cap he’s taken to wearing since he’s been back home, giving them all a small wave and then grabbing my hand with his. Then all their gazes turned to me. Ben Chambers’ Woman.

I’ve managed to stay out of the limelight since Ben hit the stratosphere by performing his acoustic solo set at the Isle of Wight Festival in June. To be fair, Ben’s been trying to stay out of the limelight too - part of his determination we can be normal together.

What I realized today is that there is no normal and he’s on a different planet if he thinks there is.

Everyone in the parenting group continued whispering and rubbing their bumps again while Ben and I found a spare row and sat down.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Marissa, and welcome to the Bupa parent and baby workshop.” A middle-aged blonde woman wearing a floaty top and yoga pants addressed the room. “If you could all please introduce yourself.”

Ben and I both shuffled a little lower in our seats.

“I’m Sue, and this is Steve. We’re expecting our first.” A redhead on the row in front of us stood up, her partner beside her.

“Great, and how are you feeling, Sue?” Marissa asked.

“Like a whale.” Sue then proceeded to giggle. Steve didn’t look all that happy. She did not look like a whale at all. Maybe an otter if I’m keeping to the water mammal theme. “I’m just so excited. I can’t believe we’ve got only a month to go.”

A month to go... and she was that tiny. That was just bloody rude.

“Fantastic, and how about you, Steve, are you looking forward to becoming a dad?”

Steve nodded and then put his hand on Sue’s bump. “We can’t wait.”

I wanted to throw up.

Marissa then went around the room, and everyone shared their first-time experience. All of the men sounded like they’d rolled out of Eton before enrolling at Cambridge and becoming a Banker Wanker, and all the women were leggy, slim, and Insta-ready.

Then they got to us. I don’t think Marissa knew who Ben was, but that didn’t stop the rest of the class from leaning forward, eager for titbits on our lives.

“Well, I’m Lilah, and this is... this is... Ben.” It sounded stupid saying his name when everyone knew it, but by hesitating, it made it sound like I didn’t know his name at all. He was just a dude I was having a baby with. “Uh, and we are having a baby.”

That was it. All I had to say.

I glanced desperately at Ben, but he was too busy fighting back a laugh.

“And, Lilah. When is your baby due?”

“Next week.”

Ben and I were stared at by about twenty pairs of open mouths.

“Oh, right,” Marissa flustered. “I’m sure you are prepared.”

I didn’t answer.

“Well, Lilah, Ben. Welcome and let’s get on.”