Page 100 of How We Began

How am I going to get a job with any of these skills?

How the hell did I manage to hold down that job at the bank for all those years? I really should have pushed the tea trolley around. How on earth did I end up on the trading floor? It must’ve been a complete fluke, or my dad pulled some major strings.

I’m unemployable. And I am working toward a history degree, which will make me even more unemployable. Fact.

Shit!

I’ve just realised something monumental. It was my dad who’d helped me get my career started. It pains me to think it because he annoys me so much, but he must have really put his neck on the line to get me that job. Then I just gave it all up, with no thanks or anything. I just pissed off to university without a second thought. I then proceeded to dump the guy he’d welcomed into our family with open arms.

Oh, no. Now I feel like the world’s worst daughter.

Should I, though? It was only a month ago that he was trying to bribe me back.

But was he? Or was he just giving me an escape route.

And I told him to stick it up his arse.

28th February

It’s the end of February. What have I achieved since the beginning of the year?

I joined the gym… then left

I gave up alcohol… but then started again due to the depressing realities of life.

I re-ignited my amazing love affair with the sexy boy next door… then accidentally stopped it again by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I went from having sex numerous times a day… to having none.

The good news is that I am really enjoying my studies.

That is the only good news I have.

According to Dad’s estate agent, someone has put an offer in on the Putney flat. So I’ll now be homeless as well.

Great! Bloody great.

Oh, hold on, one more thing I mustn’t forget.

Ben is leaving for a trial run in the United States in three weeks all because I am too stupid to tell him that I love him and I want him to stay.

PART SEVEN

March

1st March

Last night I was going into the kitchen to create a gourmet dinner of Cheerios, but stopped in shock at the door. Inside the kitchen was a girl I’d never ever seen before. She was very pretty, stunning actually, but I’d no idea who she was.

“Hey, Lilah, do you want some pasta?”

Weird. The pretty girl knew my name and was offering me food.

Oh. My. God. Ben has a new girlfriend who knows the name of all his flatmates. She’s in the kitchen cooking up a pasta storm, which she’s sharing out of the kindness of her heart before heading back into his room to spoon-feed him dinner before offering him sex for dessert.

Oh God.

“Lilah? Earth to Lilah! Do you want some sodding pasta or not?”