Page 30 of How We Began

8th November

I’ve told everyone, well, Meredith, Ben, Jayne, and Tristan (that’s pretty much everyone) that tomorrow is the day.

Tristan is going to be on Camp McCannon watch, to help with the fallout that’s sure to happen. After all, Dad did threaten to cut me off during our heated Sunday roast debate back in the summer. Theoretically, I could be eating turkey by myself this year.

Ben and I went for a walk over the campus earlier, which was beautiful with late autumn leaves still clinging to the trees, the air cool and crisp against our skin. The campus is beautiful and I probably should try and see more of it, rather than just lying in a dark bedroom with Ben at every opportunity.

Anyway, Froebel College is a stunning mansion house with the most amazing landscaped lawns, with worn grey stone steps leading down to them, and an old-fashioned pond in the distance.

Ben and I sat and quietly took in the scene around us.

“So this thing that might not be a thing and we’ll see how it goes?” I stubbed at the paving slab with the toe of my trainer.

“Yeah.” I could feel his smile against my hair with his kiss.

“Well, you know, if it is a thing, and a thing is a thing, then I think I’m going to tell my parents. I need them to understand who I am now.”

Ben shifted so he could watch me.

I swallowed and then forced myself to continue. I should have had a glass of wine for courage. It may have saved me from rambling on like a loony. “I want them to know that I love this life… being here with you, and I love who I am when I’m here with you.”

“Tell them the thing that could be a thing is a thing.”

“And I think I might get cut off. I’m going to be broke.”

He rolled his eyes and then pulled me in for a kiss. “They aren’t going to approve of me, are they?”

My cheeks flushed, but more from defiance to protect Ben than embarrassment. “They are really, ugh, what’s that word… stuck up. I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s them. I hate it.”

“Broke and in love?”

He said it… he said the L Word.

I wanted to say it back so damn bad but the words got stuck, the L lodging in my throat at the wrong angle.

“Sounds like a song I should write.” He brushed away the awkward silence. He’s a legend like that.

He deserves for me to be brave. More than that, he deserves for me to be proud of myself and most importantly, us.

I’m going to do it.

9th November

Isn’t this just hunky dory? I have just done the most dramatic thing ever, and there is no one here to tell.

I did it. I did it. I did it.

I’ve been predictably cut off.

Don’t care.

Oh, it’s only nine-thirty.

Blimey! That didn’t take long at all. Sound Box are playing a gig tonight and Ben won’t be home for hours. How bloody annoying. I could go, I suppose, but I’m here now, and I should probably spend some time working out how I’m going to live on what I’ve got saved in my bank account and pay my fees etc.

What was it Ben said?

Broke and in love…