Page 137 of How We Began

Barbie. Well, at least she’s down to fifth place.

Tracy, shit solicitor. I want my new keys.

Primary Head teacher. She will never be forgiven for making me read in assembly when I told her I needed to go to the toilet.

Brian Johnson. When I was thirteen, he told everyone that I kiss like a frog.

Sparrow Chick. She never came back and talked to Beth. What a bitch.

Me. I’m a completely spineless dick.

16th April

Taylor was singing, “Mine.”

I thought she’d gone away but apparently not.

“What are you humming?” Ben called from his side of the study desk.

“Nothing.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Am not.”

“Is it Taylor?”

“I’ve absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”

Ben chuckled and ducked his head down from between our study desks. His foot tapped mine in time with my tuneless humming. We were supposed to be studying but I was staring at the books I’d opened and doodling. Lots and lots of triangles.

I can’t concentrate on anything. I just keep counting… How many days until he leaves? I have to count them every day and every time I do, a knot of anxiety grows in the pit of my stomach.

Meredith and the girls want to go out tonight but I have said no. I don’t want to be away from him for even a second. Every second I have is just too precious to lose.

19th April

My jog around the park today was sweatier than I am used to and I have realised with surprise that spring is here. It has probably been here for a while, I have just not noticed. Summer is snapping at its heels, eager to have its full month of glory.

I found the most amazing place in the centre of the park that I’m going to take Ben on Sunday. Let’s call it the Lilah McCannon date. It’s about time I organised one.

21st April

How perfect my life would be if this were my forever after.

It’d be perfect. If every day were like today, then I’d never ever wish for anything else. I think I managed to prove to Ben that I am not just a sex-crazed fiend and sometimes I can actually be a little romantic.

I popped back to the flat in Putney, which is now largely packed up into boxes, apart from the few bits that Tristan still uses. After destroying a few carefully packed crates, I found what I needed: a wine cooler, picnic blanket, and a picnic hamper. I then got very, very lucky and found two bottles of Veuve Clicquot under Tristan’s bed.

Ha, sucker! You didn’t hide those well enough!

I then went to Waitrose and picked up lots of romantic food including a baguette, brie, strawberries, and chocolate. Yes, I know I should have gone to Asda, but it doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I was back from my hunter-gatherer exercise before Ben was even awake.

Excellent, what a great way to start the day, the Ben and Lilah wake up.

“Where have you been?” he asked. “You're cold.”