Page 116 of The Last Kiss

I wait all night. All. Night.

At three I ask the nurse on the literal graveyard shift if she’s got some matchsticks to keep my eyes open. She laughs and says no, but she can hold my hand instead. We pass an hour, her talking, filling the space in the room. I breathe less and less. There’s a weird sensation in my feet.

“What’s wrong with them?” I ask.

“Just some swelling. Want me to get a damp cloth to cool them down?”

“No, it’s not too bad.”

“Would you like some water?”

I can’t remember when I last drank anything. Strangely, I don’t feel empty. I shake my head and the nurse gets up to adjust the drips going into my arm, frowning as she looks under the bed. Without a word she resettles and picks my hand back up. This time though she doesn’t talk.

We both wait.

At seven she pats my hand and says it’s the end of her shift and I groan at the sunlight outside the window. I can’t even die right. I can’t slip away in the night to spare my sister the pain. No. Of course I can’t. I’ve got to put her through another day of this. Another day of goodbye.

The tea lady comes in with her trolley, but I just shake my head. Tea can’t do anything now, and even if I fancied one, I don’t think I’d be able to keep it down. My stomach is twisted into tight knots.

As expected, Liv rushes in, straight to my face, clasping it in her hands. “I knew I’d see you again.”

“J-just so d-damn lucky.”

I see her frown as she looks at my face. “I spoke to Rebecca last night. She wanted to come and see you, but I told her no. I think she thinks you’re just having a turn.”

“Have they f-folded?”

Liv’s lips flicker. “I knew you’d ask that. She said to tell you no, but yes.”

Strange relief washes through me. At least she can’t fuck up the print run now.

“I’m going to go and get some ice for you; you can suck on the chips.”

“No.” I grip her arm, my hold so feeble it’s actually flickering on my embarrassment register.

“Please, Jules. Am I the only one still holding out hope that a heart is going to come?”

I give the most pathetic snorting laugh I have ever mustered. “Only you, sis.”

“Well, I am,” she states resolutely. “And I’m going to get ice.” She’s fiddling with her phone. “Don’t go anywhere.”

I huff a short puff of a laugh. God it feels good to almost smile. The machines don’t like it though and one of them starts to beep a really annoying high-pitched wail.

Liv grabs my hand and a nurse rushes in checking me over and then the machines. “Just a loose wire.” She peers at me closely and I catch the sympathetic smile she gives Liv. “You comfortable, Julia?”

“Jules, please, and yes.” I think they are giving me something in the tubes. Whatever it is, it’s got a nice fluffy edge to it.

“Okay. Ice.” Liv turns just as the door bangs open, making her and the nurse both jump. My heart, well…

“Thank fuck.” Henri storms in, like a whirlwind of navy, just like how I first met him. “I thought I’d be too late.”

Liv sighs. “Bloody hell, Henri.”

“Sorry,” he barely glances at her. “The flight got delayed.” He leans over me, sunshine and wildflowers. “Ma petite, I’ve seen you look better.”

“Y-you came.”

“Of course, I came. Because I’m pretty damn sure you’re the love of my life, you bloody frustrating Englishwoman. I’m not letting you go anywhere.”