Page 43 of The Other Side of Green

“Good luck for the funeral. I’m guessing your Grams wanted you to play.”

“Yep.”

“What are you going to perform?”

I sighed, shoulders dropping until I could have melted into the floor. “I have no idea.”

We hung up after some goodbyes, my throat strangely tightening.

For a long moment I stared at the violin case while our conversation ran around my head. I seemed to be on a path of constantly doing what others wanted, with no direction of my own.

Get out of this town, Lyra.

Go to college, Lyra.

Come back, Lyra.

But what did I want?

The only thing I’d ever wanted was Jack, to have my heart whole, but now that could never be.

I startled as a pebble landed against the window, the sound painfully familiar. With heavy feet, I walked for the window. Dirty green eyes watched me from down below. I pushed open the window.

“Can I come up?”

“No, Jack.”

He held his hands up. “I’m sorry I was rude earlier.”

“You’re always rude.”

He grinned, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Why was he grinning? Wasn’t he angry with me for breaking what we had before it started? “It’s a design flaw, part of my genetics.”

My stomach sank. A design flaw that also ran through me.

“So can I come up, if I promise not to be rude?”

Say no. Say no. Say no.

“First sign of douchedom and you’re out.”

“You home alone?”

I snorted. “Yeah.”

His face shadowed for a split moment. “How about I come through the door then?”

Ah, doors. Those things people walk through, when you are old enough and no longer have anything to hide… well apart from a terrible truth.

“Sure.”

He turned for the back of the house and I turned for the mirror, before reminding myself that it didn’t matter how I looked.

Oh okay, a quick glance over, fluff of the hair, pinch of the cheek. My gaze travelled lower finding a splurge of tomato sauce over my right tit.

Fuck.

Pulling my shirt off I grabbed another one off the floor hoping it was slightly cleaner. So now it looked like I was making an effort, which I wasn’t. Well, I was, but not in the way Jack might assume.