Page 152 of The Other Side of Green

I’d protected her and that was all that mattered. I’d dealt my final deal in this godforsaken place and I’d done it just for her. I could live with that.

I sprinted across campus to Hamilton, turning heads all the way, barely taking a breath as I launched up the stairs to the fifth floor. Running down the hallway like a man possessed, nothing could hold me back.

I had to tell her that everything was okay, that she could live out Grams’ dream. I had to tell her that she was safe from reproach. My Lyra Bird could fly.

Eva opened the door, eyes wide. “I figured you’d be here ten minutes ago.”

“Where’s Lyra?” My heart pounded a painful combination of stairs and stress.

“For what’s it’s worth, I told her she was making a mistake.”

Mistake… what?

Eva held out an envelope and my blood chilled in my veins, a cold churn of the sea out in Boston Bay. Ripping it open I scanned the first words written on the paper inside. Simple and to the point: I’m sorry. This is the last time a Lennox ruins your life.

Lyra.

How long ago did she leave?” I rounded on Eva, uncaring of the other doors opening at our raised voices. Somewhere down the hall an oboe died off with an uneven squeal.

“I don’t know. Twenty minutes ago, maybe. She can’t have got far.”

I pushed a hand through my hair. “Any idea where she was heading?”

Eva shrugged, her face shadowed. “Nope.”

“Okay, thanks, Eva.” I gave her a weak smile.

Turning, I thought through my options. One thing was for sure though, and if Lyra thought otherwise then I would explain it real clear to her just as soon as I caught up with her.

There was no point her running. The simple fact was, I’d follow her to the ends of the earth.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lyra

I huddled against the shelter of the bus station. I could have flown home. I still had some of the money in my bank account that Jack had put there months ago, but I didn’t want to waste anything, not when I didn’t know what the future held.

I thought I’d cry packing up my bags and leaving, again. After all, this time had been better and going back to campus had almost had purpose.

But I hadn’t.

I’d been sad to leave Eva, sad to leave the little nook I’d briefly found… but in my heart of hearts I knew the love of music that should have put me there was broken. Whether it was broken beyond repair I didn’t know.

I’d seen flashes of it during my short time at Berklee. At the gala when I played with Jack. At Blue’s Bar. Even the other night outside Blue’s Bar. But they’d been brief flashes, short bursts of inspiration.

It was packing my bags, again, when I knew. It finally made sense and stood as the reason why the tears hadn’t come. I was never meant to be there at all. And not because of some stupid scholarship debacle. I’d never be good enough, because being there had stemmed from someone else’s dream.

Play the violin, Lyra.

Go to college, Lyra.

Stand up for the minority, Lyra.

Stand up for what’s right, Lyra.

All these dreams, they left my bones aching with exhaustion.

The truth was, you couldn’t live someone else’s dream. Life shouldn’t be lived as an imposter on the edge of someone else’s movie reel.