Page 142 of The Other Side of Green

Be proud of yourself and use your gifts with care.

Always your biggest fan.

Grams.

God. I swiped at my face, but when I couldn’t clear the tears, my throat so damn tight, I just put my face into my palms, letting my shoulders shake with the heaving of my sobs.

She had gone.

She had gone, but she’d left me a message, one that I needed to take, to follow.

Just be the person you need to be… the words rang in my head.

I’d spent all my life resenting the fact I didn’t know who I was, but it had made me blind to the fact I was my own person.

I crawled across the floor and picked up my violin case, pulling it onto my lap and cradling it like a child. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, but I wasn’t talking to the violin, I was talking to me.

The Collins family could go fuck themselves if they thought I was going to take their deal.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. But by hell on fire, I wasn’t going to stand side by side with a bunch of lying asshole racists. Eva was right, things should change.

Reaching across the floor, I picked up my cell and dialed Evan, waiting for him to answer.

When he did, I jumped straight in. “I don’t know whether to sing or play violin. I’m torn.”

He snickered down the line, yawning.

“Have you just woken up?” I snapped. “Some of us are having a crisis and you’re having an afternoon nap?”

“Some of us know how to time manage effectively.”

“Evan, this is serious.”

He sighed. “And what makes you think you have to choose?”

“Oh don’t you start. Eva’s already tried that violin playing singing thing with me. I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous.”

“Lyra, it’s not ridiculous if it’s just you.”

I chewed on his words while I thought of what I wanted to say next, my fingers tugging at the weighty chain, playing with the fob. “What if I want to finish college?”

“And do you?”

I stared at the violin case. Grams’ dreams sitting on my lap. What about my dreams, what were they?

In the back of my head an image played out, stronger than the glossy images lying on the floor.

Jack and me at college together.

Two dreams entwined.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Lyra

I scurried with as much force as I could manage across campus without breaking into a jog. No one wanted to be the loser looking like they were late to class, although I was pretty sure classes were done now. I had no idea what the time was.

At the doors to Emmerson, I took a deep breath and tried to cool my flushed power walk skin down. My curls zipped up an inch tighter just from a few droplets of sweat.