Page 97 of When We Are Old

“Ex-businessman.” He laughed and downed the last of his wine.

“I saw your pictures in the shop, your mam made me look.” My cheeks flushed as I thought of secretly lifting the pages of those huge sketch pads.

He chuckled and shook his head. “So what do you think of me in a green and gold apron?”

“Ah, so it was you. I wasn’t sure if it was you or your dad?”

He shrugged but shot me a wide smile. “Is there any difference?”

Getting up from my seat, I walked around to his side of the table and kissed his cheek. Jack came in, rubbing his eyes. “I can’t sleep.”

“Can I come and sing you a song, the same one I used to sing Hannah?”

Jack looked between me and Matthew, but then gave me a nod and my heart melted. “Come on then.” I reached for his hand and he clasped his small one in mine. “My supplies are in my bag if you want to work on ideas for McDougall,” I said, throwing my innocent sounding comment over my shoulder to Matthew.

One thing I was pretty sure about was the simple fact that Matthew was nothing like his dad. He just needed to see that he didn’t need to live in his shadows of regret like his dad did.

An hour later—I fell asleep—I came down to find Matthew still working at the table. He’d done some of the design work, fixing McDougall’s need to be essentially Scottish, while bartering with cheap knickknacks from around the world.

I peered over his shoulder, watching him work on a sketch of Hannah and the boys on the beach. “Oh my, she’s going to love that.”

“You think?”

I nodded and laid my hand on his shoulder. The cotton threads staring at me like an unspoken question. “Matthew. You deserve more than that shop.”

He shook his head and dropped his gaze. “It’s all I’ve got left.”

I tugged the picture closer with my index finger. “That’s not true anymore, is it?” I smoothed my fingers through the inky strands of his hair, slivers of silver catching the light. “There is the possibility to be anything.”

Turning, he caught me in his arms and lowered me onto his lap. Heat licked warm darts of desire throughout my tummy. His gaze of heaven and slate burned just as bright.

“You don’t really have to go back to London, do you?” He asked. I tried to push back out of his grip, but he held on fast.

“You know I do. This is a sensitive time for Hannah. She’s had a tough time. Up until recently she was in a lot of trouble.” I cringed and ducked my head down into the crook of his neck. “A lot of the time. I used to dread the phone ringing at work. I was constantly being called into the school. It’s been better the last few weeks. Whatever is changing, I would be stupid to rock the boat now.”

He massaged strong fingers into the back of my neck, gently forcing me to look up at him. “I’m sorry you’ve always had to do things by yourself.”

“I haven’t always been by myself. I’ve had Ma. I know she’s not the easiest, but she has been there for me. And Ange…” I trailed off but then I remembered the unanswered question I’d posed earlier. “How did you know where she lived? Where to come and find me?”

“I’ve seen her. You know I have. She even admitted that to you.”

I nodded, my heart beating an erratic note. “She said that she’d tried it on with you.”

It still rankled like a violation, but at the same time, until now, Matthew hadn’t been mine…

“She got drunk a few times. I don’t know how she found me in places to be honest. Once I gave her a lift home because I couldn’t walk away and leave her there in that state. She seemed vulnerable.”

I nodded. “I think she is. She’s so brash and loud, always has been, but beneath that, I’m no longer sure. I think maybe I never looked after her enough, because she was always the one looking after me.”

Matthew stared at me long and hard. I could sense his unspoken words.

“What?”

With a shake of his head, he pulled me in. “Can we not talk about Angela on our last night together?”

I giggled as his lips trailed along my throat, arching my neck so he could get better access. “Shall we talk about the fact you shouldn’t become a greengrocer and instead should go back to uni and finally do your teacher training, which is what you always wanted?”

His eyes burned hot like the sun. “What we both wanted if I remember correctly.”