Page 91 of When We Are Old

I hesitated and bit my lip. I promised Ronnie a date, but I also had to set a precedent of what we would always be, a blend of me and her, of both of our lives.

“They are coming with.”

“Laddy, you need to work on your romance.”

“Shut up. Can I come and get the keys?”

“Sure, sure, just make sure you wash the bedding and leave it how you found it.”

“Thanks, Liam.”

“Oh, and also, make sure Ronnie checks in at work. That twat that works for her is on a power trip.” My hackles shot up at the mention of Fred of Skinny Jeans fame.

“Okay. Anything she needs to know about tonight?”

“No, only that Hector McDougall has got a right bee up his kilt.

“Dad’s friend?” I tried to place the name. “Doesn’t he own all those tourist shops with the cheap tartan and other knock offs?”

“Yeah. Fred has told him he can’t sell Tartan as authentic Scottish produce if it’s made in Bangladesh.”

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck looking up at the darkening sky. “I’ll speak to her,” I said, but what I meant was that I would mention it in passing while I grovelled on my knees for her not to think I was still with my ex-wife.

Why Ronnie would think that I had no idea.

I thought I’d made my intentions very clear.

This was Ronnie though, and I knew her voices inside would rise as quick as my dark clouds could roll over a perfect day.

Of course, I knew where she would be. Angela didn’t live that far away, and it made sense for Ronnie to go to someone she knew. I mean, maybe in dreamland she’d go to my mam’s if she wasn’t sure or we’d had a row—but I guess in my head that worked but it wasn’t a reality.

The Carlings were too much, I knew that, but I also knew I’d tried to leave them before, and I still lived with the regret of that.

Hugo woofed in the back of the car and I turned to tell him to shush. The boys watched me wide-eyed. I had one more call to make before I went and knocked on the door of the tatty old tenement. “You boys sure you understand?”

Jack nodded again but Ewan pursed his lips. Then he sat up straighter and met my eyes. “Yeah, Dad. You love Ronnie now.”

“Yeah, Ewan, I really do. And I’m sorry this is all so fast for you guys, but I was very honest with your mother a long time ago.”

Ewan inclined his head. “I know. I used to hear you rowing.”

Crush my soul and serve it as a starter. “I’m sorry for that, mate, I really am. But I want you to know what happiness is, and I think I can show it to you now. I need your help though. Just like we discussed.”

He grinned.

I pressed dial on my phone and waited for it to pick up. “Julie, it’s me.” I stared through the window looking for any signs of Ronnie in the downstairs flat. I just hoped she hadn’t got on a train again.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

I looked back at the kids again and Jack gave me a double thumbs up. This hurt. I never wanted to use them as pawns of a divorce. That was all on Julie.

“Julie, we aren’t coming. Okay. I’m sorry if you think we can still go for family holidays, but we can’t.”

“Matty,” she twisted my name. “Come on, this is silly. Daddy is lending us his villa. You know how much the kids love it there.”

“Julie. We're divorced. I’m not happy going to your dad's place, and nor should I be going anywhere with you.”

“Oh, but you need me, Matty, you know that. What else are you going to do with those boys for the whole holiday?”