Page 72 of When We Are Old

“Towels are in the airing cupboard at the top of the landing and make sure you lock the door; Jack has no sense of boundaries.”

I loved the way they looked at one another. Mutual respect. It felt too good to be true.

In fact, I knew it was too good to be true. The Hannah leaving the kitchen had harnessed the wild beast of Godzilla proportions. Could she make it a week?

As soon as she’d gone, Matthew snaked quick arms around my waist and reeled me in tight. “Does she seem okay to you?” I searched his face.

“She’s lovely. Great with the boys, Ron. Maybe she always wanted siblings to order around.”

I pulled a face.

“What? You and Paul never thought of having more?”

I winced at the mention of Paul’s name. “No, I don’t think so.” I pulled away but he held me firm.

With a laugh he let go with one hand and motioned a circle around us. “This is a truth circle. We can’t keep hiding things from each other.”

“I know. But there are some things that I don’t need to talk about.”

“Like the fact Paul never helped around the house? Never helped with Hannah?”

I studied the floor with great intensity. “That easy to guess?”

“No.” A kiss landed on my cheek. “Hannah mentioned a few things this morning that’s all.”

I lifted my face to his, falling into the deep pool of heaven and slate gaze. “His trip skiing in Austria—it wasn’t the first he’d been on that spring.”

“He left you a lot?”

“I sometimes think I made him leave a lot. I made a fundamental mistake the night I told him about you. Stupid, youthful despair made me talk about you, and I think he probably never forgot, even though we never spoke about you again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“For not walking in that bloody pub. For not fighting harder. I’m going to fight for you now though, okay?”

“Hahaha, I don’t think you need to ask my permission.”

His face shadowed and I lifted a hand to cup his cheek, marvelling at the fact once again that I could do it. He was mine. I was in his house. This… we… were a thing. “You did what you needed to do to help your dad. I’m not going to say I think the pressure he put you under was right, but it is what it is.”

He nodded but his gaze dropped, lost someplace deep in the past that I couldn’t go to. Maybe when he realised I would never judge him like Julie always had, he would trust me more, tell me everything.

The only way to do that would be to launch into this. Headfirst.

“So Hannah’s getting a bedroom?”

“Yep.’ He smiled, a passing flicker of relief on his face making me know I’d chosen right to change the subject.

Matthew was a nut; tightly shut. I knew it would take a crowbar and some muscles to get him to let me in. Just as well I planned on working to build up the strength.

“You know you are spoiling her? She could have slept on the couch.”

“On the couch! You are obsessed with people sleeping on sofas. No, I want her to be comfortable. To feel at home.”

“Bite me.”

He kissed me instead, thoroughly, searching me deep with his tongue. His hands were on my skin and in my hair, anchoring me to him until I suspended breathless, my headache forgotten about.