Page 63 of When We Are Old

“What? Why? I thought you were here until tomorrow?”

Matthew’s gaze flickered to the window of the coffee shop. “Something’s come up. I just need some time to sort it out. I need to focus.”

“On what? Matthew, for goodness' sake. Is this because of Fred?”

A frown chased across his face. “I have to say, I’m not keen to see you holding hands with your designer.” He opened his mouth to say more, but then snapped it shut again. “I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”

It didn’t matter what I thought. He turned, his back ramrod straight and stepped away.

It crushed down in my soul. It flattened the new shoot of hope that had worked its way out of the frozen landscape of my heart. “Matthew. Please.”

The past echoed back at me. Bitter and vengeful, the laughing taunt of the past rang its tune in my head: I told you so.

I swallowed hard and waited for him to stop.

He didn’t.

Not knowing what else to do, I turned back for the coffee shop where Fred waited, building a wall out of sachets of sugar.

“Everything okay?” He asked, eyebrows raised in innocence.

“Fine,” I lied. “Please stop holding my hand though. Seriously, Fred, we’ve got to be professional if we're going to survive.”

“I can’t help it if I’ve been in love with you since I met you.”

“What?” My legs trembled.

“Come on, Ronnie. You must have realised?”

“What? No!”

“I think I’ve made it pretty obvious. I guess you just never saw.”

I blinked at him, seeing him in a new light. My heart thudded unevenly. “No, I never have. You see I’ve always been blinded to everyone else.”

“Because of him.” Fred nodded to where Matthew had stormed a path through steam and chatter.

“Yes.”

“And your husband knew?”

Fred looked genuinely perplexed, his lips tilted down, a line between his brows.

“I tried to hide it.”

He nodded slowly. “I think you might have failed.”

The terrible truth came back to haunt me, teasing and chasing. Leaning down, I caught up my coat and bag. “I know Fred. And I live with that guilt every day.”

I turned to walk away. I couldn't really see anything. Numbness spread over me. Had Matthew just walked away from me?

Why?

What had happened?

It had to be my mother. What had she said this time?

Fred called me back. “So, you’re going to give me a senior role?”