Page 54 of When We Are Old

“What’s it like owning your own company?”

“Hard work. Being the boss all the time is tough.”

He nodded and pressed a much-wanted kiss on my hair. “I can’t imagine it yet; maybe that’s why I’m dragging my arse on the shop. As soon as I actively start then I become my dad.”

“You guys really didn’t get on?” Another kiss to my temple; firmer, unspoken words.

“He didn’t get me. He thought you could work—do your hours, the weeks, months, years—earn your money and just keep going. Work. Earn. Work. Earn.”

“And what did you think?” I thought of the paint-covered boy I used to know.

“That work should come from your heart.

“But your dad did love his job.”

“He did…”

“But?”

“He was absent, you know. He worked long hours. Sure, he’d try to make it to a game with us every so often, but they were few and far between. By the time he thought maybe it was time to slow down, all this damage had already been done. I was at uni, doing something he hated; Ryan and Liam were wild with Mam chasing them with a wooden spoon all day long. And then the cancer came and stole what was left.”

“I’m sorry, Matthew.”

“Don’t be.” His arms tightened; we were officially wearing each other.

“So what did you do for Julie’s dad?”

I crunched my face at her name.

“Not much, really. I had a nice office, a PA, an even better salary, but I never really did very much.”

“For fifteen years?” Wow. Imagine doing nothing for that long.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He scowled, darkening his expression.

“Like what?”

“Judging me, thinking that I sold out.”

“I’m not judging you, Matthew. You did what you did to help your parents.”

“Being with Julie wasn’t easy. She’s not…”

“Not what?”

“Stable. Maybe. She’s an attention seeker. I see that now.”

“Are you worried about the boys?”

He sighed and relaxed, his arms loosening their tight hold. “I’m always worried about them.”

The front door banged pulling our attention. “Hannah.” I cringed. “I’m going to have to talk to her. What happened yesterday wasn’t safe.”

After a peck on my cheek he rolled from the bed. “Come on then.”

“It’s okay. I can do it.”

Matthew paused. “I keep telling you that you don’t have to.”