Page 14 of When We Are Old

I nodded. A minuscule bob of my head.

“Mam, please.” Matthew’s tone softened and he gave his mother a small smile.

“Oh, yes, of course.”

She caught Ryan’s elbow and towed him for the door.

“Wait, my whisky.” He yelled, but she wouldn’t let him turn back.

The front door shut leaving Matthew and me alone in the kitchen.

“Sorry.” He watched me, his hands in his pockets. I took a moment to admire the dark denim love affair.

“It’s okay.”

His dark brows furrowed. I wanted to blot my fingers against them.

“Can we check the train times? I don’t want Hannah to think I’m abandoning her.”

I knew my own emotions led my thoughts, but the connection of us in his purple bedroom seemed to seep away in the bright light of his kitchen.

“Sure. Looks like the snow has passed.”

I shook my head, almost in a sexed-out daze. “I forgot it snowed.”

A shadow flit across his face. “I won’t forget you walking away from me, snow falling. It was desperately poetic.”

Just like that he waved his magic wand and eased the tension and stole the tight bands around my chest.

Matthew magic.

“Don’t worry about my mam’s invite. Honestly, I think she’s just excited.”

“To not see you miserable anymore?”

God, I so wanted to be the one to make him forget what miserable even meant.

“Something like that.”

I tried to fight the unsettled feeling. This was Matthew. I’d dreamt of him for fifteen years and now he stood in front of me. “What was Ryan saying about the playground?”

Matthew reached a hand for me. “Just Julie being herself.”

“I thought you started divorce proceedings five years ago.”

He nodded, holding my gaze. “I did. It’s been complicated, I told you that, and I have no doubt Lennie and Ruth would have been gossiping again at dinner the other night.”

I nodded. There was little point disagreeing.

“But she’s telling people you're getting back together?”

“It’s just nonsense.”

“Of course.” My fingers twitched to reach for him. “Shall we look at how I’m getting home? You’ve got to pick the boys up from school, right?” In the playground where your ex-wife has been talking about you like you are still hers.

“Lennie can get them.”

I shook my head. “No, you should be there. You haven’t seen them much the last couple of weeks. Do you have them every Wednesday?”