Page 62 of If We Were Young

We’d walked halfway towards the small parade of shops when he pulled me over towards a bus stop. Under the shelter huddled a man in blankets.

“Here you go, mate. We lost our appetite.”

“Chicken or beef?” The man looked up at us from under his hood.

My mouth flapped open and I was just preparing my finger to wag when Matthew’s laugh rumbled through me. “Beef.”

“Black bean sauce?” The homeless guy cracked us a smile.

“All the way.”

“Then thank you, sir.”

Matthew cocked his fingers in a salute and pulled me away.

“That was kind,” I said once our feet were back in time.

He shrugged which made our fingers squeeze tighter. My tummy tightened. “Too many people are hungry in this world.”

“Is that why you want to save the business?”

I stumbled as he looked at me. “Some of it.”

My heart raced too fast. “So tell me about this theory.”

His lips curved slightly, but I was an addict and I needed to see more. I wanted a full smile. I wanted his laugh to rumble through me. “You might not want to know.”

“Oh, I do, believe me.”

“What if the theory means you have to speak? To say things, even if they make you uncomfortable?”

I stared at his face. “I’d do it.”

“Big words, Veronica.”

My heart: Boom-de-boom. Boom-de-boom. The train ran faster over the tracks. Normally I’d slow it down, bring it to a standstill at a station and take a breather, but I couldn’t.

He stopped walking and turned me by our joined hands until our chests were nearly touching. His coat brushed mine and it pushed against my skin. My nipples hardened.

“The theory?” It exhaled out, all breathless and soft, like falling into a vat of feathers.

He lifted our hands, his thumb pushing against the back of my hand, leaving fingerprints on my skin. I imagined if I could see it, it would be blue and grey like his eyes.

“We’ve never kissed.”

Oh God. My stomach plummeted with the minor chords. “No.”

“And physically we don’t know if we are even compatible.” His gaze swept over me. “I mean, you’re a wee lass.”

“Wee lass! Don’t you…”

“But.” His gaze intensified. Heaven crashed to earth and obliterated us.

“But?” Shaky and wanton, I warmed on the inside like a chocolate fondue.

“Since I’ve known you, it’s been the most natural thing to hold your hand. From the earliest days even when I knew I shouldn’t, I still did it. It felt like nothing and everything all at once.”

I breathed in slow. Lest I might pass out.