Page 56 of If We Were Young

I thought of Hannah at home. I would miss her if I went away. Sure, it would be nice to be able to breathe without expecting an angry monster to storm down the stairs at any moment, but to not be with her for a couple of weeks would be hard. Even before Paul died, we never left. We never went away as just a couple.

“I do.”

“How old are they?” I leant across the table. Same seat, same table, same position. Always leaning forward, ready to catch any word that came out of his mouth.

“Eight and six.” The left edge of his lip turned up a little.

“Oh. I thought you said your marriage ended five years ago?”

The smile vanished as quick as it arrived. “It did.”

I wanted the smile back, so I ignored the little titbits of information and stored them safely away for later. “Hannah was lovely at that age; it’s now that I don’t understand her.”

“Is she like you?” The waiter came over with a bottle of Sake and my gaze flashed to Matthew’s face.

“Uh. Yes. A little too much.”

“Does she struggle with your problems talking?”

I narrowed my gaze. “Don’t be rude.”

Laughing, he held his hands up. My brain emptied. His laugh was nothing short of extraordinary. I’d heard it before, in this same place. “I’m just stating facts here.”

“I’m not that bad anymore.” So long as I’m not thinking about you.

I was sure he could read my thoughts. “That’s true. I was going to ask how that is? You seem different at work. I was a little scared of you the other day.” Another laugh. My heart. Boom.

“You? Scared of me? You looked like you wanted us all to die.”

He nodded, a slow and delicious smile spreading. “I did. You especially.”

“So why did you hire us?”

When the midnight blues held mine, I could feel the moment coming. I knew it would bowl us over and keep on rolling until neither of us existed.

“Because of you. Especially.”

Noodles

I shoved a prawn cracker in my mouth and stared at him.

While I distracted myself from the intense need to freak out, he poured some Sake and pushed one of the small glasses towards me.

My cheeks flamed hot.

Still chewing.

The waiter hovered, his desperation to cut in and pour drinks making his hands twitch with the white apron around his waist.

I swallowed, little scratchy grains of deep-fried prawn pulp shifting down my throat.

The restaurant seemed unnecessarily hot.

Picking up the glass I threw the Sake down my neck. Whoosh. Even hotter.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Not okay. Definitely an out-of-body experience.