Page 50 of Scandal Queen

“Yep.” She nodded and adjusted her straw boater.

“And remember by the end of the day you’ll have so many new friends it’s going to be amazing.”

Oliver kept saying the words I should be saying. All those cute parenting stock phrases I’d been using the last few years.

I glared out of the window while playground fear wound a tight and painful grip around my chest.

“Leia?” Oliver’s voice whispered softly. “What’s wrong, my love?”

I hesitated. I mean this was the deep root of all my issues. “I guess I’m just not excited to be judged again.”

“Who’s judging you, Leia?” His face creased with concern.

“Everyone. And it’s not the press, they’ve already printed everything they can about me. It’s the other mothers. This is another place for me not to fit in.”

“Leia, it’s Daisy going to school, not you.”

“Yeah, well you don’t know what it was like before with them all ignoring me, turning their back on me because they saw me as a teenage mother and judged me before they knew me.”

I didn’t hide my words from Daisy. She knew everything now, thanks to the British press, but also thanks to my own mistakes in not being honest in the first place.

“Leia. You are not that fifteen-year-old girl anymore. I’m at your side now.”

I knew he intended his sentiment well, but honestly it couldn’t help.

“Look at all the things everyone had to say about you in the papers on Saturday, about how you showed a softer side to the royal family that had never been seen before.”

“Because I invited a couple of kids into a theatre to watch lame comedians tell crappy jokes?”

“No because you are doing things differently. You are different and it’s what we need.”

I watched him closely.

It hadn’t been me inviting the public in that had caused the media sensation which had caused a storm the last forty-eight hours. It had been our kiss. One simple kiss and suddenly the entire world eagerly awaited the next slice of royal drama, or they seemed to be waiting to see what royal protocol I’d break next.

And I would. This was me.

Oliver shook his head. “We need to rethink your staff. You are too lonely. I forget you aren’t used to this isolation. The lack of freedom.”

I slapped my hand on the dash, utterly irrational. “No. What I need is my friends and to not have the world watching me do the school run.”

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get any air into my lungs. The headmaster still waited for us to get out of the car, his face etched into a calm mask as he nodded greetings at the waiting press. My head whooshed and whizzed like a pressure pot close to explosion.

“Leia, it’s just today, maybe tomorrow, and then they will leave us alone. This is what you decided; private, not secret.”

Everything he said made sense. I just didn’t want it to. I knew my behaviour hinged on irrational—psychotic almost—but every element of control I’d ever had no longer existed.

“Maybe you should stay in the car and I’ll do this by myself.” I winced as I said the words but despite the scorch they left on my tongue I had to say them.

“Is this what it’s coming down to? You don’t want to be judged for being seen with me? Hate to tell you this, Leia, but it’s too late for that. You kissed me in front of the whole news core on Friday night.”

I nodded but the tight band across my ribcage didn’t lesson. “I know.” I tried to find the words. “It’s just school runs, things like this, they make it all normal, don’t they? It means you can’t change your mind. Everyone will judge you for it if you do.”

“Oh my god. You are utterly ridiculous. I showed the entire world that I’m insanely in love with you on the steps to the bloody Palladium.”

“What if people think I’m with you because I’m a gold digger?”

Oliver clutched at his hair. “Sweet shi—” he groaned. “Leia, you are going to be the end of me, do you know that. The utter end.”