Page 3 of Scandal Queen

My stomach rolled at the thought of food. I never wanted to eat again. I nodded and smiled for Daisy’s sake.

“Let’s do this then?” I pushed open the car door, briefly shutting my eyes as the fresh morning air slipped over my skin. Cool and tangy, the tingle of salt pressed against me.

This was exactly what we needed.

I carried Daisy up the drive and waited for Molly and Patrick to open up. The sunny yellow painted door pushed open into a small low-ceilinged front room. Flagstones covered the floor. A wooden beamed ceiling hung low above our heads. If I hadn’t been blinded to anything of any beauty, I would have been blown away by the Adams' seaside cottage. As it was, I slid through the door with Daisy still clutched in my arms. I tried not to take too much notice of my surroundings, trying to ignore the reasons for me being there, like a fool.

Patrick grinned and threw the house keys into a bowl on a sideboard. He must have aimed for it before because they slid in with a clatter. He chortled to himself and then stepped towards the fireplace already laid with the makings of a fire.

“I thought you said nobody used this place?” My teeth chattered, but not because I felt too cold or needed the fire Patrick lit the match for.

“Paddy called Jeannie down the road; she cleans it once a month, but he asked her to air the place a bit ahead of us coming.” Molly looked around; both her and Patrick seemed visibly relaxed now we’d arrived. Was that because they were in a place they loved? Or was it because I was no longer their ill-gotten passenger with the press on her tail hidden in their car?

“Thanks.” I shivered again. “Can I get Daisy into bed somewhere?”

Molly shot me a smile, but it just hurt my chest even more. “Sure. I think my old room should be ready.” She waved her hands for a small doorway that led to a staircase, I could see the bottom step from my spot in the front room.

“Your room?”

Molly laughed. “Remember I went to boarding school, until, well you know?”

“Yes.” I nodded, shifting from one foot to the other as Daisy began to weigh heavy in my arms.

“It wasn’t that far away. I used to come here some weekends instead of going to see Mum and Dad.” She shrugged offhandedly but I knew Molly well.

“You haven’t brought me to party central have you, Molls?” I attempted a vain shot at humour. “I don’t need to be in any more trouble.”

“Me?” She wiggled her eyebrows, somehow managing to get the enormous tight ball in my chest to ease.

I glanced down at Daisy again to find her already sliding back into sleep. My stomach clenched; I should never have taken her out of the hospital. Reckless parenting.

Although it had been a case of that or stay there with the press outside and everyone staring at us.

Still.

“Come, let’s get her upstairs and then I’ll ring Doctor Fenwick.”

I nodded and followed her to the stairs. We’d already gone through all this. The Adams family (at any other time this would have made me chuckle), knew a local doctor who would act privately for us. Another thing for me to owe my friend for.

We walked up the narrow stairs and Molly led us into a purple coloured room. From the back window you could see the sea on the horizon, blocked by houses and gardens. My legs began to ache; heavy and dense. I quivered. All the times I wished to get washed out to sea. When Mum died, before that even. And then during the dark days when sleepless nights and a baby’s cry would shatter my dreams. Now, the sea was in my line of sight.

A slow tear trickled down my cheek.

Molly stepped closer and I placed Daisy on the mauve bedding. We both stood watching her breathe.

“I nearly lost her, Molly.” A deep shudder lifted my shoulders.

“But you didn’t. She’s still here.”

Molly’s words should have filled me with joy. Daisy had been the only thing I’d ever wanted, ever fought for. Now, they held an empty ring to them. I’d tasted something else, something perfectly insane, but I’d lost it.

“I’m so tired, Moll.”

She lifted an arm and squeezed me tight. “Get some sleep. We aren’t leaving for London until tonight. No one will find you here, you’re safe.”

My bag still containing the blank burner phone almost echoed back her words to me.

The room danced with shadows when I came to. Daisy was still asleep tucked up into my side. I breathed in deep, filling my lungs with her smell, memorising it just in case... I couldn’t chase down that dark thought, it only led to a dark and desperate place.