Page 125 of Scandal Queen

Strange that when it came to it my nerves fluttered away like butterflies from a flower in the height of summer.

I walked around the side of the palace on the route that had been agreed. Our insistence to get married in St Edwin’s Chapel had caused some planning issues.

Where were the cameras to picture me getting out a car and having my train smoothed by my attendants? There was no car. There was no drive to a church or cathedral.

So instead we’d agree that I’d walk around the side of the palace and then up the front steps so the royal supporters who had been camping for days could see me walk in. The Mall was packed, people from all over the world waiting to see this unlikely fairy tale come true.

I waited for the nerves, but they just didn’t come.

The King Father, Henry, waited for me on the bottom step. Janine stood by his side and stepped up to adjust my dress with Molly’s help. Daisy stood quietly, her dark blue eyes wide and round as she held Nana’s hand.

The dress, designed with the help of Emilia, was nothing short of perfection. It spoke my story: simple, understated, and a dream that a young girl never dared to hope for. Thick ivory silk spread out in a full skirt while the fitted bodice finished with a simple scoop neckline and long sleeves. Little pearl buttons ran down the back and at the cuffs. Disney had no place in my wedding dress.

Initially I’d always assumed Nana would walk me down the aisle. It seemed right. But it had been Nana herself who’d reminded me that Henry would never be able to walk his own daughter and place her hand in her future husband’s himself. Bittersweet and tart with regret, this had been the right choice.

He smiled as he leant forward. “A little birdie tells me you’ve broken the rules this morning.”

“Always a rule breaker.”

He pecked me on the cheek and then with Molly’s help lowered my veil over my face. The crown on my head had been given to Isabella on her eighteenth birthday. It shimmered with sapphires and diamonds and I’d specifically asked for a simple hairstyle, just a knot at the base of my neck, so that it could take the full glory.

“You look beautiful, Leia.” He smiled and held out his hand. “Are you nervous? I’ve been told to keep you upright.”

I laughed and turned for the gates, giving a small wave to the people the other side, receiving a giant cheer in response.

Then I turned to my daughter, the entire reason for my survival the last seven, nearly eight years. My eyes stung as I waved her in front of me. “After you, Princess Daisy. Just walk to Daddy, okay?” Jacob’s mother waited for her inside, ready to sit and hold her hand on my side of the chapel once she’d done her bridesmaid duties.

Janine gave me a thumbs up and then slipped inside. Liveried ushers would be there to make sure she’d find her way to her own seat in the small chapel.

My breath caught as Daisy walked in followed by Molly.

When Nana turned it took all I had not to crumple. She didn’t say a word and neither did I. We watched one another until a small smile lifted her lips and then she turned ready for the command to start the walk.

When she left, I gripped Henry’s hand tighter as he lifted it and then hooked it through his arm, giving me a little pat of reassurance.

“Five, four…” To my right a royal herald counted us down.

Then we were moving. It happened too fast. I couldn’t slow it down. Couldn’t breathe in the moment.

We walked past the State Room where all our dignified guests and various other A-listers waited. I heard the gasp as they saw me, but I kept on walking. I wouldn’t falter, every step took me closer until we were at St Edwin’s and the glow from the lights, the warmth of the room just ebbed into my bones.

Henry paused by the door and through my abstract kaleidoscope of thoughts I could hear the rustle of the guests standing up inside.

“I am honoured to give you away, Leia, and to have you in my family.” Henry’s voice lowered, gruff and deep.

I breathed then and focused on the doorway. The smell of roses filled the air, late blooming jasmine, and the wax of the burning candles, delectable and homely all at once.

This was never meant to happen.

A fairy tale.

A wild dream.

Yet here I was.

Walking towards my King.

Behind me burned a devouring fire. Flames that would consume me; end me. A tragic past that could have destroyed me. Hunger, neglect, fear and loneliness.