Page 80 of Tabloid Princess

“Stop, please.” I almost cried.

“Leia.” Confusion flashed across his face and he reached a hand for me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I shook my head, too hard, making my brain hurt. “That’s not it.”

“So what is it?” He remained in place like he didn’t want to scare me off, but his hands bunched into tight fists.

“You make me feel things I don’t know.” I buttoned up my blouse. “I don’t even know if I want to. This isn’t who I am, or what I do.”

The monster within me growled loudly but I ignored it.

He nodded. “Tell me. If I was a man you’d met at work, if I wasn’t who I am, would you be feeling differently?”

I paused, his painful words slicing me deep. “But you aren’t. And I don’t know. I don’t know anything about this, but I’m sure you being the future king makes this almost criminally wrong.”

“So I can’t be happy?”

“Happy? Oliver, you don’t know me. You don’t know if I could make you happy, which I can guarantee you I won’t. I’m just an ordinary girl who has no role to play in your life. I never wanted to meet a prince, to feel…” I trailed off, but it was too late. I’d revealed already the intense stupidity of my feelings.

“Leia.”

“No.” I stiffened my resolve. “You said yourself you can never be a normal person. You’d never be able to turn up with flowers or take me out for dinner down the local. I can’t do that to Daisy. I can’t keep a secret from her. Not that big. You see this isn’t about me. I’m not just a me. I’m an us. And a prince of all things shouldn’t take that on. I’m not worth it.”

He stood then, his hands falling loosely, almost hopelessly, at his sides. “I think that should be my decision.”

“No.” I took a deep breath. I’d made my choice now.

This was madness. I knew it.

“I don’t know why I came. This is no place for a girl from Hackney.”

With my legs barely able to hold my weight I stepped forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for dinner.”

His expression was flat, those lively eyes almost lifeless. He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“I thank you for your interest, but I think you’ll agree it’s best this way.”

I couldn’t help but remember his words in the car the other night. When he’d said he didn’t like the thought of not seeing me. They burned like acid.

I walked for the door, him trailing behind. “I’ll call Bill and tell him you’re on your way down.” His voice cranked with stiffness.

“I’ll get a cab.”

“No.”

His fingers caught mine, turning me. “I respect what you’ve said. But remember, Leia. I might be a prince. One day I might be king, but beneath all that I’m still only a man.” His lips lifted into a small smile. “It’s the one thing nobody sees.”

His words nearly brought down my defences, but I wouldn’t let them.

I turned and ran down the stairs, flying through the black door with the brass lettering and into the waiting car.

Bill was ready and he wordlessly started the engine as I slammed the door shut.

My tears fell the whole way back. I hated the tears. Resented them. Didn’t want Bill to see them. But I couldn’t brush them away quick enough. With every one I caught, another took its place.

Outside my small house with its tiny garden and red front door I pulled myself together. It was long gone midnight. I let myself in finding all the lights off.

Nana was in Daisy’s bed. I guessed Daisy was in mine. “Everything okay?” she asked in the darkness.