Page 127 of Tabloid Princess

I hadn’t seen one single person guard me. I’d been walking around like an idiot.

* * *

“You okay?” Nana perched on the bed.

“Yep.”

“Liar.”

I scowled at her and nodded my head towards Daisy who lay at my side watching Netflix. I didn’t like to succumb to Netflix parenting, but my brain couldn’t put more than two words together.

“She’s not listening. Apparently, Oliver told her he loved Peppa Pig, so she’s got to watch all three million episodes from the beginning again.”

I wanted to die.

Everything about this hurt.

I’d been a fucking idiot.

“What exactly are you upset about, Leia? That people found out the truth? That the press knows? The bodyguards?

“As far as I can tell you should have known this was coming. I mean what did you think? That the press would forget you and that you two could have an illicit love affair with no one knowing?”

“No.” I scowled so hard my face hurt.

“Did you think he’d leave and not consider your safety or comfort? Leia, I only met him for a whole five minutes and I already knew that wasn’t an option.”

“Would have been nice if he’d mentioned it,” I grumbled. “And it’s not even that. I’ve been walking around for weeks thinking they were off my trail, utterly unaware that Bill’s had a team in place the whole time.

“Nana, what’s worse than that,” I sighed, battling to bring my errant rage under control. “He bribed people. Everyone who lives here accepted money because they assumed I was guilty of something I hadn’t even contemplated starting until it was too late. It’s shameful. I’m ashamed. He should have said something, he told me I could trust him. I’ve spent forever trying to make myself a presentable mother and then what? He pays people to ignore his coming and going out of my house like I’m a prostitute he’s paying to visit.”

“Good Lord, have you met you?”

“Frequently.”

“What would you have said if he’d told you?”

“I’d have told him there are starving people in the city and the money would be best spent elsewhere. And that if he had to pay to see me, it wasn’t worth the effort.”

“Exactly.”

I glanced at the Evening Standard strewn across the bed. Prince pays for silence in visits to secret lover.

I’d become the exact same as my mother. I’d sold myself for a high; but my high wasn’t heroin, it was a man.

I sighed. Dramatically. “Anyway, this is all nonsense talk. He and I never made any promises to one another, or any dramatic declarations. It’s not like he’s told the palace he’s in love with a commoner.” Tears prickled my eyes and I hated every one of them. “This is exactly why I keep people out. I can’t trust anyone.”

“Then you are going to live a very lonely life, Leia Lawrence, and you will make the people who love you miserable while they watch you.”

I shrugged.

“Leia!” I jumped at her shout. Daisy lifted her head. “He’s a prince! What the hell were you expecting?”

I shrugged again and turned onto my side.

My behaviour levelled at about the same standard as a stroppy fifteen-year-old, but deep down inside me, the memory of that girl, the things she saw, still lingered. In the last six years I’d stayed frozen in place, held still by those memories, until His Royal Highness came to thaw them.

Gah.