Page 86 of Tears of Gold

“Why do you think you will be slandered?”

“Eli.” I level him with a hard stare. “My own dad thinks I’m a slut who slept with my stepbrother for enjoyment. What other lies will Aiden have spread?”

“It doesn’t matter. The police will take statements from the relevant people.”

“Won’t witnesses be brought to the stand to defend him?” I wish I knew more, but at the same time I can’t stand talking about it. I’m torn.

Eli shrugs. “It depends what the initial investigation finds. They might not find enough to bring it to trial. These things aren’t clean cut at all.”

“So after all of this he might still go free?”

“Not free, Faith. I don’t know because you won’t talk to me about what exactly happened. I would imagine he will be on a sex offenders register.”

“That’s not enough.”

“I know, but you won’t let me fight for you.”

I am never going to be free of this. The shackles of the past wrap around my ankles, holding me down, making my future feel a distant dream. “I can’t marry you with this hanging between us.”

“It’s not hanging between us, Faith.”

It is though. I know it.

“Can you arrange for Fitzpatrick to meet me? Maybe I should go to Brighton with him and discover what’s going on. I can’t sit here waiting for someone to call.”

He smiles slowly and it’s breathtaking. “I’ve been waiting weeks for you to decide to fight.”

My hand falls to my stomach. “I guess I’ve got something to fight for now.” Resolution runs through me. “And I won’t be like my mother. I’ll never leave.”

Eli’s gaze flickers but his eyes hold mine. “I won’t let you.”

Twenty

Somehow, I’ve managed to get through a week of lectures. It’s been hard, and I’ve been asleep by the time Eli gets home most days. I just wake in the night and feel his breath flutter against my skin and his arms tighten around my waist.

I’m glad it’s Friday. Tomorrow I can lie in bed all day and not give a shit about anything. Although the sanctuary of Saturday seems far away when I know what the rest of today brings.

“You okay, Faith?” Gerard falls into step by my side.

“I’m fine.” I smile but I know it’s forced and fake. “Just a lot going on, you know?”

“How is planning the wedding of the year going?” he snickers, but I can think of nothing funny.

“It’s not. We went to Bowsley, Eli rowed with his mother, and nothing is organised. We still don’t even have a date.”

The lack of a date is the least of my worries.

“Angela said you didn’t make your meeting last week?” Gerard’s forehead wrinkles into a frown. “You aren’t changing your mind are you, Faith?”

“No! I’m not, I promise.” I don’t want to tell him about the changes in my life, so I decide to change the subject. “Have you reached out to Jeremy at all?”

His expression is pure derision. “Oh yes. Hey, once I had an affair with the man who later became your husband, but then I decided I wasn’t gay at all and got married which also turned out to be a mistake.”

I chuckle, my head shaking. “Well I don’t think you need to put it quite like that.”

Gerard relaxes. “I haven’t. Peter was my friend for a long time, Faith, but I don’t know how to go about the secrets he kept.”

“Maybe you could try?”