Page 5 of Tears of Gold

“Uh, no.” My head shakes fast, from side to side. “No, you can’t. Isn’t that a conflict of interests? I don’t want you being involved with that.”

“I want him to go down and I’m the best.”

I lift an eyebrow. “That might be. But I also want you to be my husband. I’m not going to wait just so you can be my lawyer. I’m not hiding anything anymore, from you or anyone, but I don’t want you to have to know everything. It’s not fair on you, or me, and definitely not fair on our marriage.”

“I love hearing you talk about our marriage.”

I grin, stupid and wide, which is totally ridiculous given the circumstances of the day, but I can’t help it. “How are you? I mean, apart from the bruises. How were things with your mum?”

He sighs and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “She’s in shock. I’ve never seen her like that.”

“Did Connie come down?”

“No.”

“Surely she should be supporting your mother? She’s a goddamn bitch, but she’s still her mum.”

He shrugs as much as his injuries will allow.

My stomach gurgles again, loud and clear.

“Have you eaten?”

“No. Elaine was upset, I didn’t want to interfere. Tabitha went to bed early. She said she had a migraine coming on.”

Eli nods. “I went and knocked for her. She always gets migraines when she cries too much. I’m glad Lewis is here for her.”

“Yeah. Honestly though, Eli, I don’t know how much more those two can take. It’s like a relationship of doom.” He watches expectantly for me to elaborate. “Well you know what I mean. First, they meet under the circumstances of his mother's death and Lewis being arrested. Then they get pregnant after knowing each other a matter of weeks—I mean seriously, who does that? Then they lose the baby, and now this? She’s eighteen. It’s not normal. She should be out with her friends, getting drunk and being stupid.”

“You don’t think they will make it?”

I shrug. “I think they are young. But I’m worried more heartbreak is coming her way.”

“We’ve made it though.” His hands catch mine. “Despite everything. We’ve made it.”

“We’re older.”

I hold in my next words. We haven’t made it yet.

Things are going to get real. I’ve got my degree. The TV Show. Eli has Melanie’s case in a couple of weeks. And now we have to deal with him being heir to the title of the Fairclough Baron—whatever the word is. I mean, come on, I don’t even know what it’s called and now I’m marrying into it?

“What are you thinking?” he asks softly.

“That I love you.” I smile and roll over, gently wrapping my arm around his tummy. I want to strip off and lay my skin alongside his. I want to consummate our promise with touches and kisses, and him filling me the way only he can. But I know he’s too injured, so I make do with a cuddle.

“I love you.” We lapse into silence. I’m contemplating the man I didn’t know who lost his life earlier today and the other man by my side who now doesn’t have a brother. I’m thinking of the twisted demon who was once almost my brother and did things he shouldn’t, and I’m thinking of the man who has always been a brother to me but is now lost, swept away from me on a tide of regret and grief. The worst bit is I don’t know if I can even talk to Eli about all of this. Now he knows I slept with Dan it will always be there. I’ll never be able to be open again about my concerns and worries for my lifelong friend. That’s on me. I did that with my foolish mistakes. If I shut my eyes, I can see the flash of betrayal in Dan’s gaze. This isn’t your home anymore.

He was right. Brighton isn’t my home anymore. Eli is.

“I’m starving, reckon we can go and make some food without Elaine being cross that we’ve invaded her space?” I break the heavy silence.

“I think we can manage that.” He groans. “Although that means I’ll have to move again.”

“We’ll go and find some painkillers.”

“And whisky?”

I chuckle, subdued and hushed. “And some whisky.”