Page 20 of Tears of Gold

His hand reaches for my elbow and he squeezes tight. “No, you were right. Peter and I should have fought harder for what we wanted and not given in.”

“You did fight; you had a wonderful life. I spoke out of turn. I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment, my emotions are all over the place.”

Jeremy peers closer, frowning around his spectacled frames. “You are very pale, Faith. Are you okay?”

I snort laughter which gets a few frowns of the more critical variety from other guests at the wake. “What’s to be okay about?”

“It will settle down.”

I lift an eyebrow. “I admire your optimism. How can you do that? You’ve just buried your husband.”

He shrugs. “I guess I never expected to meet him, not ever, so anything on top of that, every moment, has been something to be grateful for.”

I groan. “Gah, please don’t make me cry anymore. I can’t cope with it.”

“It’s just the way it is. Isn’t it?” He pushes his glasses back up again. “Look at me. I’m mixed race, from a religious family, and gay, and today my parents came to my husband’s funeral. Sometimes you’ve got to believe.”

I glance over at his parents. “Are you going to introduce me? Or are the tattoos going to put them off?”

“I’ve already warned them.” He chuckles even though it sounds forced. He takes my elbow. “Thanks for being there this last week.”

I offer him a small smile. “I wish I could’ve seen you and Peter together, and I know Eli does, too.” We both glance over to where Eli is standing by his mother’s side. His face is stern, his skin pale, his bruises now nothing more than a painful memory. I ache for him. His eyes fall on me and his soul within the depths of them feels like an ocean away.

“Keep hanging in there, Faith. This is going to be hard. Peter and Eli, from what I understand, used to fend off their mother and grandmother as a team. Now it’s just him. The weight is going to be unbearable for a while.”

I shake my head a little. “You know so much more than I do about them.”

He shrugs. “Not really. I only knew Peter. But I know he loved his brother in his own way, the ‘Prodigal Son’ he used to call him.”

A wry smile stretches across my face. “I know.”

“And Eli used to call him, 'Peter the Lurker'.”

Jeremy snorts. “Well if you knew how we met, that wouldn’t be far wrong.”

We are close to his parents now and I sense the weight of their glances on my ink. “I hope you’ll tell me everything when you are ready.”

His eyes meet mine. “I’d like that, Faith.”

“Well, we are going to be family by marriage.”

His face clouds and I know I’ve said too much. We would have been family by marriage, if his husband hadn’t died.

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me.”

“Mum, Dad.” He points to his parents. “This is Faith. She’s engaged to Peter’s brother.”

His mother, who's apparently nameless, smiles warmly and reaches her hand to shake mine, but his father stays straight-faced and tight-lipped.

“I would say run for the hills,” he says instead of shaking my hand.

“Lawrence,” his wife chides.

“Well, it’s the truth.”

“What’s the truth?” Eli’s hand slips into the small of my back.

“Nothing, don’t worry.” I give him a smile.