Page 96 of Tears of Glass

She snickers a bit and I pretend to glare. “Are you implying I’m not normal?”

She quirks an eyebrow that is all Eli and I pull a face. “Has mum called you yet? I figured she’d be hunting you down once that newspaper article broke.”

I shrug. “Nope. Maybe I’m too lowly for her to worry about.”

Tabitha shakes her head. “Nope, I doubt that. Eli is going to fight for you, you know that, right?”

“Yes, I think so. Although I’m not sure why.”

“Because he loves you.” She rolls her eyes but her bottom lip wobbles.

“Where is Lewis?”

“He went to Philip’s; said we needed some space.”

I nod my head slowly. “And do you need some space? It must be odd, right, you’ve known each other a few weeks and for most of that you were pregnant?”

She rubs at her face. Abi should be here having this talk, not me. I’m not a suitable representative of the female race.

“I love him.” There’s a wobble beneath the statement.

“I know you do.” I pick up her slender hand. “I think it’s amazing. When I was your age, I was so twisted and messed up I was promising not to ever love anyone.” I sigh, my head dropping under the weight of cement filled memories, until I raise my head and meet her eyes. “And I didn’t until I met Elijah. He’s the only person outside of my extensive friendships group of three I’ve ever allowed in.”

Her gaze lifts to my face but I carry on.

“And now look at me. I’ve got you as well, and I’m thankful for that, but love isn’t something instant, well not for me anyway.”

“What happened to you, Faith?”

I give a wry chuckle. “You probably don’t want to know, and I don’t talk about it.”

“But Elijah knows? And your friend in Brighton?”

“All two of them.” She knows this, she lived there with me for a couple of days. I was never overwhelmed with an influx of visitors. It’s just me, Al, Dan, and Abi.

I swallow hard. It’s just me, Dan, and Abi.

Pausing for a moment, I try to think. I haven’t seen one person come to see Tabitha, not a friend, not her mother. It’s just been Eli and me.

She’s as lonely as I’ve been, and I’ve been blind to it. No wonder she loves Lewis with so much intensity; it’s the way my heart has exploded for Eli. When your heart has nothing, it loves with everything—I didn’t know this until very recently.

I squeeze her hand and take a deep breath. “It’s not pretty.”

She shakes her head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anything.”

Reaching forward I smooth her hair. “I want to.” Turning for the window, I glance at the darkening sky. Eli will be on his way to Bowsley soon and then we shall see the mess we end up in.

“When I was fourteen, a boy came into my life; into my home under the pretence of being a brother figure.” It still burns. Still hurts. Telling Eli hasn’t healed the wounds. The way he loves me still hasn’t soothed the pain in its entirety. “He abused me, under my dad’s roof. For a long time, I didn’t tell anyone because I thought I was in the wrong. I believed the lies he spun and whispered into my ear like poison.”

“What did he do to you?” Her voice wobbles.

I shrug and blow out a mouthful of air, but I make sure to meet her eyes, showing my sincerity and feelings for her. I trust her. Love her even. “He touched, played with me, I guess. With my body and my emotions. Then he raped me.” A tear slides down my face, but I still refuse to move my gaze from her eyes. “He made me believe I’d asked for it. More than once.”

The colour drains from her face. “Faith, I’m sorry.” Pools of water fill her eyes. “I’m sorry. You should have told me.”

“No.” I squeeze her hand and breathe hard to push back the tide of tears. “No, your brother taught me to feel. For a long time, I was numb, locked inside bitter darkness. But I’m not like that anymore.”

“And the boy?” She hesitates. “I guess he’s a man now. Is he in prison?”