Page 16 of Tears of Glass

His lips purse together. “Yes.”

I sigh and concentrate on the crinkles in the arm of the leather sofa. “I think I wanted to know if I could be the same as I was. You know, just fuck and not give a shit.”

One sandy eyebrow raises into his hairline. “And?”

My shoulders rise and fall. “I don’t think I can. He’s messed with my head.”

“It’s just because you cared. I think he’s a dick anyway, you know that. But if he didn’t realise what he had, then the guy is a number one tool.”

We watch each other silently for a long moment. I don’t really have anything to say.

Dan continues though, despite my silence, “You know Dad wanted us to get together. It’s the one thing he always went on about.”

“Your dad was crazy.” A rising wave of emotion threatens to spill over at the thought of Al. I’ll never get used to the fact he’s gone.

Dan shrugs. “Maybe.” His eyes settle on me. “You know I love you, though.”

I nod, thoughtfully. “Yes.” My heart is too bruised to return the sentiment, even to my best friend. “So anyway,” we need to get off this subject. “How were things with JoAnne yesterday? Has she forgiven you for dropping her like a hot potato?”

Dan’s eyebrows crinkle as he thinks. “She’s a nice girl. Hates you, but she’s a nice girl.”

“Is nice what you want?”

He shrugs again and I wish he’d stop because it reminds me of Elijah and his number one form of communication when we first met—the elusive shrug.

“Come on, let’s make a brew.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do? Are you going back to London or staying here?”

I blow a burst of air through my lips. “I don’t know. I need to make plans, work out what I want.”

Dan looks at me, all humour evaporating from his face. “Faith, have you ever known what you wanted?”

“Hey, that’s rude.” I swat him with my hand.

“True, though.”

He gets up from the sofa and walks to the kitchen. It’s only as he’s walking away, I realise he’s only wearing shorts.

Am I bloody blind? Possibly.

Oh God. I’m going to be broken forever.

I stare at the living room carpet and chew on my lower lip. There’s a low hum of voices coming from upstairs, so Tabitha and Lewis must be awake.

What am I going to do?

Because right now it feels like I’m starting from scratch all over again.

I make long work of chewing my toast while I watch Tabitha and Lewis. “I think first things first we get the doctor appointment booked. You need to talk to someone who can help you with all your options.”

Tabitha glares wide-eyed. “I’m not getting rid of this baby.”

I hold my hands up. “I didn’t say that. But you need to know everything. A baby is for fucking life, Tabs, not just for Christmas. You’re eighteen and I wouldn’t be the responsible adult in this situation if I didn’t mention all the options available to you.”

The face they pull at responsible adult is downright rude.

They so deserve the words coming next. “We also need to talk to your mother. She needs to know where you are and that you’re safe.”