Page 113 of Tears of Glass

I roll over. “Well, I just want to state for the record that I wasn’t like this until I met you.”

“I shall keep that thought with me all day.”

I drop all laughter. “There is only you, Eli. You’re the first, remember, and the last.”

He leans back down and places another kiss on my mouth. “Knowing you are just mine makes me a happy man.”

Straightening and tightening his tie, he runs a hand through his hair. “Dinner, tonight?”

“Perfect.”

He pauses as he turns for the door. “Faith?”

“Yes?” I’m already burrowing myself back under the duvet, class isn’t for hours.

“You haven’t mentioned Dan and Abi for a while. I appreciate you helping Tabitha after what she’s been through, but I know you have your own life, too.”

I nod but my tummy is tightening. He watches me for a long moment, reading my face. “Abs is on a crazy exercise routine, she’s too busy to talk to me.”

Eli pulls at his cufflinks, checking his shirt is equal on both sides beneath the cuffs of his jacket. “And Dan?”

I shrug. “He’s grieving, and I don’t know how to reach him.”

He gives me a slow smile. “You’ll find a way.”

I nod, but I’m not sure I can agree.

After he’s gone, I end up getting out of bed and making a coffee to take down the rain drenched small garden to the studio. I’ve left a right mess in there, but I ignore it and spread out the sketches from the house in France. I wish I could be back there, wallowing in that warm glow of continental sun. It wasn’t hot by any means, but the sun was at least visible. I pull one of Eli’s easels over to the grey window and balance a new canvas on the stand. I don’t paint, it’s not a medium I’m comfortable with, but I want to feel the sun streaming through of the window in France. I want to feel the rough edges of the wooden topped work surface as Eli bends me over them and drives himself into me.

I splurge paints, mixing and adjusting until the warmth of terracotta is beneath my fingers then I dip them onto the canvas; the smooth and rough surface beneath my fingertips is the perfect combination and a little thrill travels up my spine. I love new things. I might not be able to give Eli a house, but I can give him the heart I lost there in our weekend of perfection. Listening to the rain hit the window, I transport myself to a better place, to a perfect moment where it’s just me and him.

The phone disturbs me, and I almost jump in shock. Crap. Wiping my hands on a rag, I try to get them dry enough to pick up my vibrating mobile. “Yes.” I shout as soon as I can slide the screen.

“Where the hell are you?” It’s Gerard. A cross Gerard.

“Painting.”

“What? No seriously, Faith, where are you? You’ve missed the first lecture and Professor McAndrew’s been looking for you. He wants to go with you to the Tate Modern to see your work space.

“Already?” I can’t make sense of what he’s saying. “What do you mean I missed a lecture?” I pull my phone away from my ear and glance at the time. Eleven o’clock. How the hell did that happen? I stare at the canvas. It’s spread with a myriad of terracotta and gold. Huge and bold, it’s like the sun has crashed into land and exploded everywhere.

It’s me and him on that bedroom floor, tangled and panting.

I lift the phone back to my ear. “Sorry. I’m sorry, I got distracted.”

“Hm.” He sighs. “What shall I tell McAndrew?

“Why is he rushing on this? Surely this will take a while to set up.”

Gerard clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Quicker than you think, Faith.”

I sigh. “I’ve got enough going on this week. I’ve got to face the Faircloughs at the weekend.”

There’s a brief pause which speaks volumes. It’s your own mess, Faith.

“I’ll be in the next lecture.”

“Good. Don’t cock up now, you’ve got a lot riding on this.”