Page 42 of The Game

"You don't know what it feels like; you are so far away from that, which is why you're crazy to have made the choices you have." He sighed and held up a hand of surrender at my narrowed glare. "But it hurt, every day was more and more of a challenge, and my temper went with it." The skin under the scruff on his cheeks reddened. "I'm not proud of everything I've done." He came back to the table, and I watched his firm body move under his clothes, my eyes were drawn to the flat lines of his stomach despite my efforts to drag them away. "I've made some terrible mistakes."

"So why didn't you just go back to county cricket, something easier?"

He laughed. "Oh my god, I could ask you the same question. I don't understand why you quit playing completely. I mean you could have still played and had Sammy."

I shook my head. "No, I couldn't." I took a heavy breath that pulled at my ribs. "My sister-in-law's parents were angry after the accident." My voice caught, and I coughed it away. "I mean they had every right, their daughter had died, and they nearly lost their grandson. I think they believed that because my parents lived abroad, they would get Sammy." Another deep breath. "But when the solicitor read the will, it made me guardian and caregiver until Sammy turns eighteen."

The Lion's eyes watched me through hooded lids and dropped lashes. I had this intense need to hold his hand, to feel the sensation of those long fingers slide against my own. But I knew that was ridiculous, so I ignored it and buried it deep within myself.

"Vanessa's parents said they were going to contest the will. That was a year ago, but I haven't heard anything yet. They come and get him once a month, but it will only be a matter of time, things are very strained between us all." I sighed. This felt good to talk about, okay maybe not good, but there was a tingle of relief working its way around my tense stomach. "So, I needed a stable job, one where I wouldn't have to travel, or at least not far, not international and one where I was guaranteed a wage. If it goes to court, those are the things I will be judged on. Waller stepped in to help me." I sighed and brushed my hair out of my eyes, tucking it behind my ears. He watched me intently. "So what's your biggest mistake?" I asked keen to turn the attention away from me.

"Ooh, that's a tough one, but I think I'm going to have to go with marriage number two."

I shook my head and laughed. "I can't believe you've been married twice."

His face which was smiling dropped a little. "They weren't marriages; they were terrible mistakes, made for the wrong reasons." He blew a gust of air out of his mouth. "I'm learning that partnerships should be about more than that."

"Oh." My chest tightened. "Are you with someone now?"

I told myself it shouldn't matter if he were. Obviously, I was lying.

His attention dropped to the neglected pen. “No.”

"Okay, last question?" I'd started the words before I'd thought them through, although deep in my chest, at the centre of my being where my heart was beating a stuttered beat, I already knew what I wanted the answer to be. "Why can't you concentrate on your game?"

He didn't answer; his eyes slowly lifted to my face, where they stared at me with such brutal honesty I had an inkling of the answer without hearing the words. My throat tightened until it was a struggle to swallow.

"My hour's up," Sammy skidded into the room. No way, that wasn't an hour?

The Lion's eyes stayed settled on my face, and my cheeks warmed until I had to rest the back of my hands against them to make sure they hadn't caught alight. Finally, after I felt like I was about to disintegrate into a pile of ash on the floor, he turned his eyes to the windows. "It's still raining, Sammy, how about movie and popcorn?" he said.

"Popcorn now? I'm going to be the size of a house if this carries on." I muttered under my breath.

"Run more, on your dodgy knees," he responded with a smile above Sammy’s head. Good god was the Lion grinning at me in my kitchen? If this carried on, I'd be wiping grey gunk off the kitchen cabinets after my brain exploded. Oh, no, I wouldn't I'd be dead. The Lion would have killed me with one smile too many.

"We haven't got any popcorn." I pulled the most unattractive face at him I could muster which made him snort.

"Yes, we do." Sammy yanked on my arm, doing that kid thing where they can't just talk, they have to pull you or prod you at the same time. "It's in the cupboard. Maria says you aren't allowed to touch it because you will start a fire."

"Agh, she did not." I looked at Sammy's face. "Did she?"

He nodded earnestly.

I jumped off my stool and announced. "I would just like to say I am not that dangerous in the kitchen."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the little guy nodding his head at our weekend visitor and heard the snigger the Lion made in response as he pretended to cough into his arm.

I stared at the cupboards hoping the popcorn would just miraculously fall out into my waiting arms.

The Lion rolled his eyes. "Here, allow me." He stretched, and a flash of tanned, toned tummy peeked out at me from under his T-shirt. My palm itched with a need to slide the roughness of my skin against the smooth expanse.

I needed to get a grip fast.

Ten minutes later we were sat on the sofa with Sammy in between us holding a giant bowl of popcorn. The room had ebbed into darkness as the rain got heavier and heavier. "I don't think we will be able to play tomorrow," the Lion said, frowning at the window.

"We can do some yoga later if you want to stretch your shoulder. Just in case it's still raining and we don't get to play."

He flickered a smile in my direction, and I marvelled at how stunning that tick was when it morphed into the real thing. "Sure, although you know I hate it."