Page 54 of The Commander

Noah seemed to know exactly how and when to touch me. How soft, how much force—everything!

And he didn’t let up.

I’m ruined.

I knew he’d ruin me for any other man. The first time I kissed him, I knew that.

This man knows how to pleasure a woman, and while the thought of him with anyone else makes me want to reach for my gun, I remember that his attention was all on me last night.

Lord, when he took charge and spread my legs, I couldn’t say no. My arguments vanished, and so did all my brain cells. I couldn’t remember a single reason why this huge, gorgeous man shouldn’t be licking me toward the best orgasm of my life.

If he did it every day for the next fifty years, or more, of my life, it would never be enough.

Goddamn it. Mark.

I need to end things. I might not be in love with the accountant, but cheating is wrong.

Do I wait until I’m home or call him?

He hardly pays attention when I’m on the phone with him, anyway. Texting seems cold, but if he doesn’t answer my calls, then I’ll do that. Either way, I need to just do it.

I breathe in Noah’s scent wrapped around me like the softest blanket and wait for guilt to plague me. It doesn’t. Noah has always felt like home. Like he and I exist on our own island where nothing and no one can penetrate what we are together.

Except they do.

Because of others’ judgement of me as a soldier, I cannot be with Noah.

Tyrell being here is a reminder of what’s at stake, and while I was pissed when I saw him arrive, his presence will stop me from making any mistakes.

Oh yeah, how did that work out last night?

Shit.

I wish Noah could understand my position. I know I have hurt him in the past; I saw it in his eyes that last night in Texas.

Does he know I went home that night and cried until dawn?

Does he know I’ve questioned my choices every day and still do?

I can’t tell him. The damn alpha male will take that information and manipulate me into confessing how I feel about him.

It won’t change anything.

He’ll never understand the way it feels to have everything you’ve worked for and achieved questioned because you’re a female...a female who’s highly attractive and accused of sleeping her way to her next promotion.

Noah never went easy on me while making sure I admitted that the men I went to battle with were stronger and better suited to certain tasks. He was concerned.

“Sir, I’m not stupid. I simply want to be treated equally.” I’d argued in the early days.

“You are. But my job is to train all of you to stay alive while protecting our nation. Sending you into battle with an ego and attitude will get you and others killed.”

“It’s not an ego. Sir.”

“You’re defensive, Quinn.”

I’d zipped my lips because he was right, and I knew it.

“I hear the rumors. I’m not ignorant of what others say.” Captain Jenkins had crossed his arms after referring to the gossip circulating about my relationship with him. I’d done extra hours and work, and it had bitten me in the ass. “If you want this next promotion, you’re going to have to prove to me that you accept and have a full understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. Not as an individual, but as part of a platoon.”