Page 43 of The Commander

THE REST OF the afternoon we focus on medical drills and tactical combat casualty care. There’s high-stress role-playing with fake blood and time limits. Noah is nowhere to be seen, and I find myself thinking about him way more than I should.

After a hearty dinner and shower, I head to my room and call Jeannie.

“The baby was moving today. It feels amazing, Quinn,” she tells me as I lean against the headboard and cross my legs under me.

“Wow. What does it feel like?”

“Um.” She glances left. “Like there’s a baby growing inside me.”

We giggle, and I feel a pang of envy. I’m so happy for her and Carl, but I can’t help but feel I’m missing out on life.

“How’s it going there?” Jeannie asks, and I push away my thoughts.

“Noah is here.” I set the phone on the pillows so we can see one another and watch her mouth drop.

“Whoa.”

“Yup.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Huh. It’s a fair enough question, given my best friend knows everything, and yet I don’t know how to answer it. I’m happy to see him, but nothing has changed, and if anything, it’s stirring up all the emotions and feelings I’ve been trying to suppress.

“Pissed. Happy. God, J, he’s still so gorgeous.” I sigh and shake my head.

“Yeah, well, that’s not going to change for at least another thirty years.” She laughs.

“So, wait it out? Is that what you are saying?” I snort.

She’s quiet for a long moment. “I mean, he’s retired. It’s been six months, Quinn. Can’t something happen? Your dad will surely get over it if you two get serious and take it to the next level.”

“No. He’ll always be the guy who trained me, and imagine if I married him. They’d all say I knew it.” I comb my fingers through my wet hair, ignoring her frown. “I haven’t shared the last bit of news. Guess who else is here?”

Her brows lift this time in question.

“Tyrell.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Jeannie gasps as I shake my head slowly. “That’s such bad luck.”

She knows how much he’s harassed me over the years and that he was part of my reason for being transferred.

“It’s a sign not to cross the line with Noah. Although it’s tempting, I’m not going to lie,” I state. “Oh, and can you believe Noah told me to break up with Mark?” When she chuckles, my eyes widen. “Hey!”

“Sorry, but I’ve always liked Noah. Just marry him, for goodness’ sake. Have beautiful babies and forget everything else.”

I stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“You sound like a woman full of pregnancy hormones.”

“Probably.” Jeannie grins. “But why not? Your father will never change his tune, so maybe it’s time to stop trying to prove anything.”

I grab a pillow and hug it. I know I shouldn’t care so much, but he’s my dad, and now I’m twenty-seven, still wishing he’d give me his blessing.

He’ll never be okay with me being with Noah, I know that.

“Noah asked if I loved Mark.”

“You don’t.”