Page 78 of Whiskey Proposal
I feel so much lighter with that thought. Then I pop the balloon above my head and ground myself again. Eventually he’ll realize that he didn’t choose me, and that I’m not really what he wants. And one day, maybe I’ll pretend a guy can decide his future from one photo.
“When we get back, I should just probably sleep in the guest room. Not that we can’t . . .”
Blue eyes pin me. “Fuck?”
“Yeah, we can still have sex.” Is that better or worse? It’s going to be hard to walk away from him no matter what, so why not have more orgasms? “If that’s okay with you.”
He contemplates for a moment and my lungs don’t have enough room to expand. If he says no, I’m going to be embarrassed. I’ll have to act normal around people I don’t know, but then that’s what I’ve been doing most of my life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lane
I wash up in the shop. Emerson and I have to leave for Huckleberry Springs soon. I work in the morning, and as she mentioned earlier, she has a company she’s trying to build. Bitterness spreads along my tongue. I toss the rag over the side of the sink.
Cruz and Elodie took off to tackle some things at the bakery before business as usual tomorrow. The kids have already ditched us. We got the tires changed out and the engine running. There’s a skip, but Myles is going to work on that next weekend when Elsa gets off her lifeguard shift.
He stands by the sink, arms crossed like he’s commanding a boardroom. “Something’s eating at you.”
Fuck, yes, it is. “Got some things on my mind.”
Emerson’s hanging out with Wynter, Mae, and Elodie—until she left. What does Mae think of my wife? Of course Mae loves her. Am I more worried about what Emerson thinks of Mae?
He leans against the new tire of the tractor. “Is one of those things on your mind named Emerson?”
It’s not her. It’s what she asked me. I rub the back of my neck. “Know a good divorce lawyer?”
“That bad?”
“Just being practical,” I echo her words. Fucking guest room.
He scrutinizes me like he knows it’s not my idea. “Because the marriage is for the trust only.”
“Yep. She asked about it this morning.”
He scratches at his jaw and the scrape of his whiskers fills the air. “Are you two having sex?”
Will we still be having sex when she’s in the guest room? “Can’t see how that matters.”
The naturally arrogant tilt of his lips deepens. “It matters.” He pushes off the tractor and wanders to the door of the shop like he’s checking that we’re alone. “When I first saw Wynter, I couldn’t forget her.”
“You kicked her out of your office.”
“Then I reeled her right back in.” He stands in the opening of the big shop door, his attention on the house with the wife he’s happily married to and the family he never thought he’d have. “It’s obvious how you feel about Emerson. Have you told her?”
“I just got her to open up to me.”
“So you haven’t told her?”
“Not blatantly, but the ‘fucking’ part says that loud enough.”
He drops his head back and laughs. “It says nothing about feelings or commitment. Wynter left my ass when she thought I’d never commit. She was the only one for me, and she still thought I was going to get up and go when times got tough, and I probably would’ve if she hadn’t slapped me awake.”
“I know what you’re saying, but it’s too soon.” If I told Emerson what I really thought, she wouldn’t believe me. She might even get scared. I’m a lot like Myles; I try to emulate him, but I divert here. He was scared of how he felt about Wynter. I’m clear as a bell about Emerson. She’s not clear about me. “She doesn’t trust me, and I don’t have much time.”
“This isn’t something you rush.”
“Brooks’s house sale closes soon, and selling hers will happen in a blink. Emerson’s going to do everything but give it to him. Then she’ll return to Denver.”
