Page 96 of Backup Plan

“I was. Well, sort of. It’s complicated. We had a night, and neither of us could get past it. He offered me a place to stay so I didn’t have to live with Brent, and things just sort of happened.” I shrug.

“So why did he end it because of Brent?” she asks.

“He has a baby on the way with another woman. He thinks Brent is going to use that against us in court, that we won’t be able to provide stability for the boys with a newborn.”

Her brows dip together. “That’s ridiculous.”

“That’s what I tried to tell him, but his mind was made up. His dad is on trial for illegal gambling rings, and it’s just messy. He didn’t want to drag the kids into it.”

She sighs. “He’s so unlike the idiot you’re divorcing.”

I press my lips and tilt my head, doing my best not to roll my eyes even though she’s right. “Yeah. He told me the kids and I could stay at his place, but—”

“I get it, and you know you’re welcome here,” she interrupts. “It’ll be tight, but we’ll manage until you can find a more permanent solution.”

“I wanted San Deigo to be my permanent solution,” I admit.

“San Diego?”

I draw in a shuddering breath. “I asked the judge if I could relocate. Liam needs help with the baby, and I guess I was willing to give it a try. I was willing to uproot the boys because I thought I could give them more stability there. I was going to tell you to come with us, that we’d find a place for you, but I won’t find out if my request was approved for another month. And now it doesn’t even matter since he dumped me.”

“Honey, he didn’t dump you,” she says quietly.

“Sure feels like it.”

“He’s trying to act in everyone’s best interest, and it’s actually quite noble.”

“Or he was looking for a way out,” I mutter.

“That’s your anger and your sadness talking. And I get it. I’ve spent a lot of time being angry and sad. But if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. If it’s not, then you had a good run with him, and you’ll pick up and move on.”

I think about everything she lost when my dad died. She lost the love of her life.

Liam and I haven’t been together that long—certainly not long enough for me to determine whether he was supposed to be the great love of my life.

But it just feels like one hit after another, and he gave me hope when it felt like all hope was lost.

So now what?

I just…move on? Live in the same city as Brent all alone in his huge mansion while I stay in my mother’s eight hundred square foot house with my two rambunctious boys for the majority of the time?

My phone rings, and I see it’s Everleigh calling.

I can’t right now.

I send the call to voicemail.

I focus on my mother’s words. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. She’s said that to me hundreds of times during my life.

We were on a path where I felt like it was meant to be, and suddenly, we’ve veered off course. I no longer believe it, and I’m left questioning whether it actually is meant to be. It’s such an easy way to minimize what we had. What if I don’t believe in fate? What if I don’t think it’s meant to be or not…what if I believe I want it and I deserve it? How exactly do I go about getting it if he doesn’t feel the same way?

I think about asking my mom those questions, but she won’t have the answers any more than I will.

So I stew on it, drink my tea, and blow my nose. I pretend everything’s fine.

After all, I have to. I have two little boys to pick up in a few hours, and I have to sell the act as I sit through Benji’s soccer practice and help them with their math facts and read a book to them.

I have to fight off the tears as I explain why we’re staying at Grammy’s house tonight instead of Uncle Liam’s.