Page 79 of Backup Plan

Things have been going so well this week. Penny and I have talked every day. I’ve video chatted with her kids, who both told me they miss me. I’m getting to know my teammates. Tanner Banks has been incredible in welcoming me warmly to the team, and I’ve gone out the last two nights with Clay.

I’ve met a lot of people, women included, but the only one I want is a secret back home.

With things going so well, I guess that’s why I’ve been dreading this call. I know what she’s going to say, but as I’ve been waiting for this call, it’s been easy to live in ignorance. It’s been easy to pretend it’s not real.

But this call will confirm what I already know.

“Hey, Iz,” I answer. My voice sounds tired.

“Hey. The paperwork came in. It’s yours. They sent you a copy, too, but I just wanted to let you know in case I saw it before you.”

I clear my suddenly tight throat. “Thanks.”

“Sure. I’ll take care of it from now until it pops out, and then it’s all yours.”

I hate that word. It isn’t an it. It’s a baby.

And maybe I would have felt like it was an it a few weeks ago or a month ago, but since I've been living with two small people, I've realized that babies, toddlers, children…they’re so much more than just the “kid” label they’re given. They're little humans, and it's up to us to give them the tools to become productive members of society.

It’s thoughts like that which make me feel as though I can do this. I’m not prepared, and this is unexpected…but I think I can do this. If I have Penny’s help.

I don’t know what to say, so I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

“Do you, uh…do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

She’s quiet a beat. “I haven’t found out. Do you want to know?”

“I do.” I think about asking why she hasn’t found out, but I guess I know the answer to that. Knowing the answer to that turns it from an it into a baby.

“I’ll ask at my next checkup.”

“Can you text me your schedule of appointments? I’d like to be there. I’ll have my lawyer draw up an agreement. Just to be clear, you want to give up all rights. Right?”

“I…uh…yeah.”

For the first time, I wonder whether she’s not really all that sure, which makes that paperwork from my lawyer even more important.

“Thanks for letting me know. And Iz?”

“Yeah?”

“Take care of that little one, okay?” I ask. I hear the vulnerability in my own tone.

“I will. Have been for a long time now.”

“I appreciate it,” I say.

“Fucking better,” she teases, and I laugh.

“I do. Let me know what you need, okay?”

“Yeah. I will.” She pauses. “I don’t know how to ask this.”

“Just say it.” I already know what it’s going to be, so no sense in beating around the bush.

“I need money.”

I sigh. Having the career I do, having the family I do…it’s a blessing and a curse. But the fact that she just came out and said it sort of means something. At least I know what I’m dealing with.