Page 69 of Backup Plan

I blow out a breath. “Well, I've been trying to think back on that all night, and I guess the first time we slept together was maybe eight or nine months ago.”

She flinches.

“Then I had to go back to Pittsburgh. When I came home the following week, we did it again. Then I was back in Pittsburgh for a while. The last time we slept together was probably mid-October, I'm guessing. And I would venture to say that's when it happened because I was on my bye week, and I remember that I came home for the whole week.”

“Okay, mid-October gives us some more information. So let me count.” She thinks for a minute and ticks off the months on her fingers. “That would put her due date around mid-July.”

I nod. “And that tracks too, because she said in less than two months the baby will be born. But that was the extent of the details she shared.”

“Did you ask any questions?” she asks.

She blindsided me two seconds before I walked into the Bradley Mansion that looks completely different than it did six fucking months ago because Ford and Tatum bought it to renovate it for Everleigh's wedding. My mom's dead. My dad's going to prison.

I don’t say any of that as I push the button to call the elevator down. “No, I didn't think to ask questions. And then she hung up on me.”

We step on, and she reaches over and grabs my hand after I wave my card in front of the panel and press the button for my floor. “Do you know for sure it’s yours?”

I blow out a breath. “If I take her at her word, then yes. She said she was with one other guy around the same time, and it wasn’t his. They ran some test, and she said I could take the same test to prove it.”

She nods. “That’s a good, smart start. That’ll take a bit of time, but then you’ll know for sure. Did she say anything else?”

“Yeah. She said she was going to give it up, but that she felt it was the responsible thing to do to let me know since maybe I can give a kid with my blood a better life than strangers could.” My chest aches at the words she spoke. Hell, my chest aches that any of this is even happening.

It’s too much on top of too much.

The only good thing in my life right now is Penny, and I have to leave her, too.

How did I even get here?

Oh, right. Unprotected sex with a virtual stranger.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was careless when I shouldn’t have been. It’s not like I was that way all the time, like I fucked a lot of women unprotected. I’m smarter than that, but I had a lapse in judgment once or twice.

I realize I should’ve known better, but I did what I did in the heat of the moment, and it’s not like I can go back and change it now.

“Do you think you could?” she asks, and honestly, it’s the same question I’ve had since she spoke the words.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “What kind of life would it be? I’m a football player, Pen. I get one, maybe two days off a week in season. Otherwise I’m practicing, busting ass, or traveling just so I can sit on the bench and wait for the leader of the team to stumble or fall or get hurt so I can take a snap. I’m coming or going all the time. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted kids at all until—” I cut myself off.

Until just under three weeks ago, when Penny and her kids moved in here and I found myself in a whole new world of what it’s like to raise two boys. It’s not all fun and games despite the fun we’ve had. It’s two a.m. fevers and the flu making its way around the entire family. It’s running the kids to their practices, making sure they’re fed, and sometimes just surviving the day to get to that late-night bowl of Cap’n Crunch. It’s a little one wanting me on one side and his mom on the other.

It’s the way my own ideals are starting to shift. I don’t want to go to San Diego if I have to go without them. Despite the fact that they’re not my kids, they take up a new space in my heart that I didn’t even know existed.

I worry about them. I like hearing about soccer and baseball and all the trivial details of their day—even when they tell me the same thing ten times or ask me the same question over and over in a bid to stay up just a little later. It’s because they like me. It’s because they want just another ounce of my attention. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right. They don’t care that I play pro football…they just care that I’m an adult who will get down on the floor to listen to them or act like a dinosaur or help them search for the exact Lego brick they need in a big pile of them.

The elevator doors open on my floor, and Penny waits until we’re inside my place before she finally prompts me with, “Until?”

I glance at the climbing wall Dolores installed before my gaze settles back on Penny. “Until the three of you moved in here, and I realized that the reason I was unsure was fear. Fear I’d be like my dad. Fear I wouldn’t be good enough. Fear I’d let them down.” I shake my head a little. “But then Sammy lit up when he spotted me at Benji’s promotion. Benji grabbed my hand to pull me into their room to show me the Lego he built.” I shrug.

“You’re a natural with them, Liam. And if you’re scared…then you’re just like literally every good parent that walks the planet. We’re all scared. Scared we’re doing it all wrong. Scared we’re somehow failing them. Scared they’ll get hurt, or sick, or bullied, or worse. Scared we can’t keep a protective bubble around them always and forever to keep them safe but at the same time knowing we’ll eventually have to let them fly on their own.” She presses her lips together as if the very thought is tugging on her emotions, and she sniffles. “But that’s parenthood. It’s terrifying, and it’s mostly thankless. But it’s also maybe the most wonderful and beautiful responsibility we might be lucky enough to experience in life, to hold these babies in our arms with all of our hopes and dreams and watch them as they start to find their own hopes and dreams.”

I close the small gap between us and link my arms around her. “You’re an incredible mom, Penny. The only reason I’m even a little bit natural with them is because I get to watch you.”

Tears sparkle in her eyes. “Stop,” she scolds softly, but I refuse to stop because from the outside, I can see that she’s right about one thing: it’s a thankless job. And she’s fucking killing it.

“I won’t stop. You’re an amazing woman, and I’m falling in love with you.”

Surprise lights the tears shining in her eyes now, and her eyes flick to my lips before they move back to my eyes. “Against all odds, I’m falling in love with you, too.” She tilts her chin up, the signal that she wants me to kiss her, and so I do as fireworks seem to detonate around us at our newest admission.