Page 27 of Backup Plan

Penny: Tell me about it.

Me: You’re anything but lazy, Penny.

Penny: It was the first time I sat down all day yesterday, and he happened to walk in when I was relaxing. He said I left trash on the table, but it was B’s Happy Meal box that he cried over when I threw it out. All this after running the kids around from the moment school ended until the moment I finally got S down after 9:00.

Me: I hope you told him off.

Penny: I wanted to throat punch him.

Me: That can be arranged.

Penny: I appreciate it, but he’s not worth it.

I spot a new text from Dolores, so I flip over to read it.

Dolores: On it! This place could do with a nice woman and some kids running around. [smiley face]

I roll my eyes. That’s not what this is. I still don’t even want children. I’m just doing this as a favor to my sister’s friend.

You know, my sister’s friend who fucks like an animal and made me feel things I don’t know that I’ve ever felt before.

A frisson of excitement darts up my spine.

She’s going to be in my home. She’s going to be staying with me. She might even find her way to my bed again.

I hope I get to see her this weekend. I hope she winds up in my bed in Vegas, too.

Penny: Anyway, thank you SO much. I don’t know how I can possibly repay you.

Me: I can think of a few ways… [fire emoji]. Kidding, kidding. You don’t need to repay me.

Penny: At least let me cook for you. Surely a single guy like you could use a home-cooked meal.

I don’t bother to tell her I’m already paying someone to make those for me. Instead, I reply with one simple word.

Me: Deal.

Penny: Are you staying at the Cosmopolitan this weekend?

Me: Yes, under Ev’s reservation.

Penny: Same. Maybe we’ll be neighbors in her room block.

Or maybe you’ll end up in my bed again.

I delete that one before I actually send it.

Me: Keep it down.

Penny: No promises. If a hot football player happens to knock on my door after the party ends, I might not be able to control the volume.

I smile down at my phone at her flirting.

Me: Is that an invitation?

Penny: Dude, I’m going to a joint bachelor/bachelorette party for an NFL star and his brand strategist fiancée. I’m expecting there to be football players everywhere. Surely I can snag the attention of one of them.

Me: You’ve already snagged the attention of one.