Page 16 of Backup Plan

Instead, he leaps up and returns with a washcloth—not for his blanket, but for me.

He’s taking care of me in a way I don’t know if I’ve ever been taken care of. He’s a full decade younger than my piece of trash, soon-to-be ex-husband, God willing, yet the older man could definitely learn a thing or two—or five—from the younger.

Maybe age doesn’t matter. Maybe at thirty-three, that’s not really a thing anymore the way it might have been when I was fifteen, and he was…okay, when I was twenty, and he was…

Yeah, never mind. Let’s not go there.

He kisses me gently after he wipes me clean, and I force myself up to go to the bathroom anyway, taking the washcloth with me and setting it over the side of his luxurious bathtub. I’m tempted to run the water and get in. A long soak sounds delicious right now, especially a bath for two, but I’d much rather get back to bed.

I feel strange walking around without my clothes, but they’re back in his bedroom, so once I’m done cleaning up, I head back out there, still naked and decidedly awkward.

He’s lying in bed just waiting for me. He’s not scrolling his phone or playing some game or getting work done, but he’s waiting for me. He’s lying on his side, still naked. His eyes are open, and they’re on me as I walk into the room.

It’s a strange phenomenon. Sex became such a chore that I forgot what it was like to enjoy it—or to feel like my partner enjoyed it and actually wanted to be with me. Wanted to focus on me. Solely me.

I slip into bed beside him and lie on my stomach, leaning up on my elbows and settling my gaze on him, and something about the appreciation in his gaze makes me feel a lot less awkward.

His fingertips dance lazily along my spine, and I move my arms so my face hits the pillow. I feel like I could sleep for a million years right now, yet I don’t want to go to sleep and miss out on whatever this part of our night is. I rest my hand on the pillow beside my face, and he reaches for it, turns it over, and threads his fingers through mine.

“You’re incredible, Pen.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Liam.”

He chuckles. “Thanks.” His voice is a bit subdued. A bit…disbelieving.

“I wish you could see yourself how I see you,” I blurt.

He raises a brow. “Oh? And how is that?”

I lift a shoulder, and his fingers flex in my hand.

“You’re smart, and you’re not afraid to go for it. You’re a freaking NFL star, Liam. How many people dream of that, and how many achieve it? Not many. But you’re so kind, and you’re gentle, but you can also be rough, as you just showed me. You’re funny, and you’re hot. And your cock…” I widen my eyes and wiggle my brows, and he laughs. “You’re like this dreamboat of a man, and I’m not quite sure how I never noticed that before.”

“Thanks for saying that,” he says softly. “Most of the time, I see myself as a backup in pretty much every aspect of life. It’s nice to hear someone sees something different.”

I’m shocked that’s how he thinks of himself. “That’s not what I see at all.”

“I wish you could see yourself how I see you,” he says, repeating my own words to me.

I decide to get vulnerable, too. “I’d love to hear it. I mostly think of myself as used goods now. Like I gave my best years to a piece-of-shit human, and nobody will want what’s left over.” A dart of nervousness zips along my spine as I wait for his answer.

“Fuck, Pen. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re absolutely stunningly gorgeous. You’re experienced but not snobby, and you’re worldly but not stuffy. You’re fun, and despite the heaviness you’re going through, you still manage to be light. You’re so much stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for. You’re so goddamn scared to let your guard down, so scared to just let go and have some fun, but you did it for me tonight. And your cunt tastes fantastic.”

I chuckle at his assessment. Maybe it wasn’t as cobwebby down there as I thought. “It’s scary to let my guard down,” I admit. “But something about you has me opening up.”

“Maybe because we’ve known each other a long time? I’m the same way. I don’t open up to anybody, but I feel like I can trust that you’re not just here with me because of what I do for a living or who my family is.”

I twist my lips. “If anything, I should run the other way because of who your family is.”

He presses his lips together. “She never has to find out, Pen. Tonight…it was just for us. It can always stay between us.”

I’m not sure why that statement kind of hurts. It shouldn’t. It was always just for tonight even if we didn’t explicitly say that. There are too many complications for it to be more than that, too many risks to do this again.

I think about how over the next month, I’ll most definitely see him again. He already told me he’s going to the bachelor party in Vegas this weekend…the same weekend I’ll be there for the bachelorette party. And then there’s Everleigh’s wedding, and oh, God, I just had sex with her brother. Her younger brother.

What have I done?

I can’t help but think as I stare into his dark brown eyes during this quiet conversation despite the fact that we’re both naked and I had his cum dripping out of my pussy fifteen minutes ago…what we just did was far from wrong.