Page 79 of The Long Way Found

"You said thank you. Like I'd refilled your coffee.”

Jack's eyes closed. "I wasn't ready."

"I know. And that would be okay if it were only that one thing. But it's not. It's the pattern, Jack. You keep me at arm's length. You control how much of yourself you give and then expect me to feel grateful for the crumbs. And Friday night, when you had to choose between a meeting and showing up for me, you chose the meeting."

"It wasn't that simple."

"It was exactly that simple." Luke's voice remained gentle but firm. "You had two commitments. One was a meeting. One was me. And you chose."

Jack stood abruptly, pacing to the window. "You're making it sound like I don't care about you. Like I didn't want to be there."

"I know you wanted to be there. That's what makes it worse." Luke stayed seated, watching him. "You wanted to be there, but when it came down to it, the meeting felt more important. The mission. The duty. Whatever Hallicks needed from you."

Jack turned, his expression raw. "I've spent twenty-four years being trained to prioritize the mission. To compartmentalize. To focus on the objective and execute. That's how I survived. That's how I led men through combat zones. That's how I kept my head straight when everything was falling apart around me."

"I know⁠—"

"Do you?" Jack's voice cracked. "Because I don't know how to turn that off. I don't know how to stop seeing everything as variables to manage and missions to complete. And yes, sometimes that means I fuck up. Sometimes that means I hurt people I—" He stopped, swallowed hard. "People I care about."

Luke stood and paced across the kitchen, then back to his chair. "I'm not asking you to be someone you're not. I was simply hoping you would make room for me in your life because you wanted to. Real room. Not the space between missions while you suss out your next opportunity back in lil’ ole Calder Ridge."

“That's not the only reason I'm here," Jack said quietly.

Luke waited.

"I had other job offers. Atlanta, Wisconsin, half a dozen places. When I heard about this one, you were the first thing that came to mind: Luke's there." He paused. "I had to see you. Find out if what I felt at eighteen was real or a fantasy I’d built up."

Jack's hands weren't quite steady. He set the cup down.

"And I got back and—wow, was it real. Realer than I remembered or imagined… But I don’t have a lot of experience in this kind of thing. I mean, this is only my second actual relationship, Luke. Well, third, if you count us in high school. Anna and I were friends who got married because it made sense at the time, but I never really loved her, Luke. Not like this, not like I love you.”

Luke leaned back. "Don't."

"It's true,” Jack said, pleading. “I should have said it when you told me. I was scared. But I do. I love you."

“That's not fair." Luke's voice shook slightly.

"I know it's not the right time⁠—"

"It's not that. Saying it doesn't change your pattern."

"But it means something, doesn't it?"

"Of course it does." Luke's voice softened. "But Jack, wanting me isn't enough. You have to choose me. Over and over, even when it's hard, even when it conflicts with your plans, even when it means losing control."

"I can do that."

“You couldn’t Friday night.”

Silence.

“Ever since you got back, I've been holding my breath," Luke said at last. “Waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to get another offer, another mission, another reason to leave. I can't live like that, Jack. I won't.”

Jack's face was still.

“That’s all,” Luke said. “That’s all I have.”

"So that's for us, we’re done?"