Page 82 of Dissolving Prejudice

“If you’re not willing to spread your legs, then the least you can do is suck my cock with that poisonous mouth of yours,” he snarled, his fingers digging into my flesh with brutal force.

Shocked by this dark side of him, I stared at him with my lips slightly parted.

While Jordan was always very respectful of my boundaries and never pressured me into sex, now was different. Now, his eyes, which often looked at me with nothing but sickening adoration, pinned me down with hate and rage. It made my blood run cold, and my heart began to hammer fast like I was in danger. In danger? In danger from whom? Jordan? What the fuck was I even thinking? And even though I quickly dismissed the passing thought, my body hadn’t. This feeling of dread almost felt familiar, but I had only ever experienced it with my father or Orson. I had no idea why I was suddenly associating it with Jordan. Either way, right then, I felt so terrified I couldn’t move a single muscle. Maybe it was just my guilt eating me from the inside or my brain telling me, once again, what a fuckup I was. But before I knew it, he’d already let go of my arm and walked toward the closet, where he pulled out a pair of pants.

While he proceeded to get dressed, I brushed a hand over my arm where he’d held me. It hurt, but it was my fault he’d snapped. After all, he was telling the truth. If he was Camilo, I would have slept with him.

I’m so pathetic. And if I weren’t so shocked by what just went on, I might have laughed. But the room was too tense to even spit a word, not to mention argue back. And yet, once I saw him collecting his phone and charger from the nightstand—

“Where are you going?” I asked, a bit panicked because, despite all this, the room felt too dark, and I really didn’t want to be alone right now.

“To sleep in the guest room.”

With that, he walked out of the main bedroom and into the guest room the suite had, slamming the door behind him. A choked breath escaped me once I heard the sound of the lock, and anxious, I looked around the dark space. My hands were trembling as unease kicked in. And while I did feel bad for upsetting Jordan, this wasn’t the reason for the sudden dread that took over me. Wanting this awful feeling of fear and loneliness to be washed away, I went to take a shower, hoping it would help. Only it didn’t, and once I was back in the room, it was still too dark.

I pressed my lips together and walked over to the guest bedroom. Stopping by the door, I held my fist high, ready to knock on the wood, when I paused. Jordan wouldn’t bring me any comfort. I knew that. He knew that. Hence why he locked himself in there. Forcing him to see my face right now wouldn’t do any good, and if anything, I’d probably only hurt and annoy him more. My father always said I was an expert when it came to fucking up, and he was right.

He’s right about everything.

I took a deep breath and kept the air in while pressing my ear to the door, trying to listen and see if I could hear anything, but there was nothing, not even the slightest rustle. Jordan had probably gone to sleep already. Letting out the air I held in, I looked back at the suite. I hated myself for booking such a large place that made me feel so damn tiny.

Biting the tip of my nail, I glanced at my bare feet when a thought occurred to me. It wasn’t a thought, more like an impulse, a primal instinct to be buried in Camilo’s protective embrace.

From now on, I’ll wait for you to come to me first.

Camilo’s words returned to me, and I nearly choked on the thought. I wanted to go to him. I wanted to be with him so bad it hurt, but could I? Could I be this selfish? Sadly, I already knew the answer to that. I was that selfish and, like my father had told me so many times before, a mistake. A pathetic excuse for a human being who deserved everything I brought on myself.

Camilo never saw me as a mistake, though. He thought I was brave, and I wanted to think that, too. Today reminded me of one of the things I cherished most about Camilo, and that was that being with him not only made me love him but also myself. The way he looked at me, talked to me, held me… it was unmatched. His love validated every bit of me, so could I blame myself for wanting to be loved like that again, even if just for tonight?

Diesel

I’d just ended another phone call with fucking Gale and put down my phone when someone knocked on my room door.

“Just a second,” I called.

Since Gale’s phone call caught me right after I finished my shower, I didn’t have a chance to get dressed. Putting on a pair of black boxer briefs, I then went to get the door.

Whoever it was out there kept knocking, even though I’d told them I’d get it in a minute, and I was ready to yell at them when I opened the damn door and saw Shay-Lee.

His eyes widened at my almost naked appearance, and he glanced down at my crotch before looking up to meet my amused stare.

“H-hey,” he muttered with a faint blush coating his adorable cheeks before averting his gaze to the floor.

He’s so fucking adorable.

Smitten that he was here, my smile grew. “Hey.”

Shay-Lee didn’t say a word and instead continued to stare at the floor, so I spoke again. “Do you need anything?”

He nodded.

So cute.

“Mind telling me what it is?”

He cleared his throat. “You said I needed to come to you.”

He spoke so quietly it was almost impossible to hear.