Page 71 of Dissolving Prejudice

“I thought you knew what you signed up for.” I shoved my finger at his chest.

“It’s not what I meant, babe.” He attempted to hold my hand when I pushed him away.

“I don’t give a shit.” I bit my lip as I tried wheezing some air into my burning lungs. “You know what? My crazy mind needs a break. So I’m gonna go.”

His eyes widened, and he stepped closer. “To where?”

“Doesn’t fucking matter.” I turned around. “Don’t you dare follow me, or I’ll fucking snap, Jordan.”

He tried saying something, but I didn’t care to listen and only walked faster. Jordan didn’t deserve to be treated like this, as he had done absolutely nothing wrong. He was perfect, while I was a piece of low-life, selfish shit that completely stomped all over him. What’s new? It had been the same fucking story since he first came into my life with a huge-ass debt that needed to be paid and a hopeless crush I used for my own benefit. Now was no different, and I used his affection in an attempt to cover up how lonely I’d been after Camilo left. Like a parasite, I sucked on his love to keep me alive without stopping to think about what I was doing to him.

Me. Me. Me. It was always about me, and I was sick and tired of being this selfish.

“Shit,” I hissed, biting my lip and increasing my steps. I had to get the hell out of here before he came after me and asked for another explanation of why I was acting like a crazy person.

Because I cheated on you while you slept right next to me.

Just thinking about it made my head hurt because how fucked-up could I be? I allowed my ex to jerk me off right next to my sleeping fiancé. I was a sick man, and I couldn’t blame anyone other than myself for being this twisted. On top of all, I was a liar, just like I’d always been. Back in high school, I didn’t bat an eye before lying to him, but now? Now, it killed me. Or, at least, I wanted to think it killed me. The truth was I’d been lying to Jordan ever since Camilo came back into my life and long before that.

If I were honest for one second, I’d admit that I never moved on from Camilo. It was impossible to move on because that man had embedded himself into my fucking DNA. How had he managed to do it in the few months we’d been together? I had no fucking clue, but it didn’t matter. Camilo was in my veins and being, and the only reason he and I weren’t together right now wasn’t because of Jordan but because of my anger. Still furious with him, it was hard for me to see beyond that rage, while deep down, I knew it was only a matter of time before all that resentment and wrath would melt.

Looking down at my hand, my eyes latched on my ring. The one Jordan gave me and meant so little to me. My throat dried with the thought because I wished I cared for him a fraction of what I felt toward Camilo. I wished I wasn’t so selfish and stupid to repeat the same mistakes over and over. But mostly, I wished for Camilo to just tell me the damn truth of why he’d left so I could fucking forgive him already.

My first intention was to go back to the resort because I did want to catch a few hours of sleep. I also thought I knew the way back, but as it turned out, I had no idea where I was going and concluded that parting ways with Jordan in the middle of a busy market in a foreign country might not have been my brightest moment. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was lost, but looking around, I was pretty sure I’d been to this crossroad at least three times already.

I pulled out my phone to call Jordan and ask him to track me down, only to find out my battery had died. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I grunted and shoved the useless device back in my pocket. I knew some people found pleasure in hiking alone and exploring the hidden secrets of the world, but I was not one of those idiots. I wanted a bubble bath, twenty-four-hour room service, and luxury on top of luxurious.

I’m a spoiled brat and ain’t ashamed to admit it.

Since waiting for a knight in shining armor to come and save me was pointless, I had decided to take the initiative. Looking ahead, I saw a small souvenir booth with a nice-looking old woman working there.

“Hello, miss,” I told her with a polite smile once reaching her booth, my eyes quickly scanning the cheap crap she was selling. “Do you know in what direction the White Lagoon Resort is?”

She narrowed her eyes at me.

“Do you speak English?”

She shook her head.

Oh, crap.

“White Lagoon?” I repeated the word louder and slower like every idiotic tourist did in the hope it would suddenly break the language barrier and searched her table for something white when I spotted a shell. “White Lagoon.” I pointed at the white shell, and finally, she nodded.

Thank God.

Pleased we managed to communicate despite it all, I glanced around when she gave me something. Looking at my hand, I saw the same shell I’d pointed at.

“What?” I frowned at her.

She held five fingers in the air.

“I don’t want to buy it from you,” I sighed. “I need directions.” Spotting a map on her booth, I pointed at it. “Directions.”

She moved to grab the map, probably to sell it to me, too. Deciding it was pointless as I didn’t speak Thai and she couldn’t speak English, I reached for my wallet. At least I could pay for her wasted time.

She reached for my money but suddenly paused with her eyes focusing behind me.

“What’s wrong?” I snarled, then turned to see what she was staring at, only to find Camilo standing there. My temperature spiked, and I narrowed my eyes on his stupid grin.