Page 138 of Dissolving Prejudice

When I didn’t bother to reply, he got up from the floor and ran toward me. “I love you, Camilo.” He grabbed my arm. “I have loved you since we first met,” he said, desperation in his eyes.

Oro’s confession, which meant nothing to me, suddenly made my stomach roil with fear. Was this how Shay-Lee saw me last night—A pathetic creature he was better off without? My heart broke just with the thought of it, and anxious, I looked away from Oro. There’s no way, right? Shay-Lee still loved me; he was just hurt. Betrayed by my lies and actions, but he still loved me.

Right?

“I love you,” he said again, causing my lips to twitch with annoyance.

“I’m going to take a shower. You better get your ass out of here before I’m done.” Not caring for his tears, I shrugged him off and walked straight to the bathroom, where I locked myself inside.

A sigh of relief left me once I heard the house door shut, and I began stripping naked. I’d given Oro too much fucking slack, and finally, I was over it. In fact, he should be thankful it only ended with his tears and not his blood, as I was a second away from letting out all my frustration on his idiotic face.

Before getting inside the shower, I caught my reflection in the mirror, and would you believe it? I looked as pathetic as I felt. Shay-Lee couldn’t have made himself clearer yesterday, and honestly, I couldn’t blame him. He finally saw me for what I was.

A monster.

The monster who killed his father.

Images from then returned to me—images of my hands covered with blood as I stood over Christian’s abused corpse. My chest tightened, and my breaths turned heavy, same as it did back then, when I studied him with mad eyes, wishing he’d come back to life so I could rip him to shreds again.

“Fuck!” I punched the damn mirror, not giving a shit about the shards cutting my knuckles as I hit it again and again until the pain overcame my mind. But one broken mirror wasn’t enough, and I began crushing everything. From the shit we had on the sink to the cabinet on the wall and even those damn plants I grew here. I smashed whatever I could reach, and when I finally had no more things to break, I stepped in for a cold shower. But like always, no amount of water would ever be enough to clean the filth off me, and it was then I decided I needed a fucking cigarette.

I stepped out of the convenience store and moved away from the entrance before pulling out the pack of smokes from the plastic bag that contained some bandages for my hands and nuts for later. A lady with bleached hair and high platforms walked inside the store just as I opened the pack, and for some reason, I eyed her before going back to my own business.

Putting the cigarette between my lips, I’d nearly forgotten the taste of the filter. Whatever. Eager for that first boost of nicotine, I grabbed the plastic lighter I’d also bought and brought it to the tip of the cig. Using my thumb, I rolled the spark wheel a few times until the cig caught fire. With my eyes closed, I took the first puff and kept the smoke in to enjoy the sweet flavor before I blew it out. Shit. It didn’t feel as good as I remembered. Not in the slightest. Yet, it didn’t stop me from smoking, and by the time that lady stepped out of the store with a Diet Coke and a bag of chips, I was already on my second smoke.

After standing outside like a lost dog for too long, I decided to go back home. Since my place wasn’t too far, only a block away, I’d walked here on foot, hoping it would help with the hangover that still bugged me. It didn’t help, and I still felt like shit. Every part of me hurt to the point that walking this short distance made my legs burn, and I was grateful when I finally spotted my building from afar. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and never get up. But God had other plans because when I got into the elevator, the stupid shit decided to break.

“Fuck!” I cursed and kicked it, thinking about how Shay-Lee always struggled to make it work. The thought of him made me want to cry, but instead, I laced my fingers with my necklace and tried to relive the moment he’d given it to me. It brought a faint smile to my lips that was quickly gone with the honk of a truck that passed by the road.

“What a shitty day,” I grunted. Getting out of the elevator, I used the fire escape stairs and climbed up. While Shay-Lee wasn’t there to greet me back home, Toro was, and I quickly picked him up in my arms. He’d grown and wasn’t a tiny little furball anymore but a spoiled cat that loved cuddling. Rubbing his head against me, he purred.

“Yeah.” I kissed his head. “I miss him, too.” I put Toro down before tossing the plastic bag on the counter. I’d bandage my hands later, but first, I wanted another smoke.

I pulled my packet of smokes out when I noticed my phone. I’d left it here to charge, so taking my cig with me, I walked over to grab it. Seeing I had two missed calls from an unknown caller, I sat on my bed, cigarette between my lips, and called the number back. The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up.

“Whatever.” I shrugged, put the phone down, and lit my cig when someone knocked on my door.

Fuck.

When would people leave me the fuck alone?

I wanted to ignore it when another knock came, and finally, I dragged my ass up from the bed and walked over there to answer the door. It better not be Oro. Irritated with the thought, I opened the door and suddenly wished it was Oro. Why? Because it was much easier to kick his ass than Gale’s.

“What the fuck—”

A blow to my face made me lose balance, and before I knew it, I was sent to the floor, my phone dropping from my hand. I covered my head while Gale proceeded to kick me, my teeth gritting with each hit until a blow to my side made me gasp for air. My mouth filled with a metallic taste, and I coughed out blood while attempting to get up and fight back. It was pointless. Gale wasn’t alone, and each time I tried resisting, a different man punched or kicked me. A strong pound on my head made the whole room spin, and I winced with pain as they struck my rib, right where Shay-Lee had yesterday. I heard a cracking sound, and I swear to God, I saw stars. Somehow, I managed to stay conscious and even spotted my phone on the floor not too far from me. Stretching my hand, I managed to touch it when Gale stepped on my fingers. I screamed, my voice overcoming the sound of cracking bones, as he twisted his foot and my palm crashed underneath his boot. Gale finally stepped back, yet the pain didn’t stop. Instead, my palm throbbed and burned like it was on fire. But before I could do anything about it, two of his men forced me to my feet.

“W-what the fuck do you want?” I spat in between coughing, eyes narrowing on Gale’s ugly face.

Gale’s eyes moved from me as he looked around the apartment, his jaw clenched the whole time. “The boss has a few questions he would like to ask,” he said nonchalantly before turning around.

“Questions? About what—” I was silenced when someone covered my head with a hood and shoved me to start walking.

I was screwed.

So. Fucking. Screwed.

Shay-Lee