Page 123 of Forgotten Prejudice

My anger vanished, leaving me with nothing but sorrow. My heart broke with his confession, and my body ached to get up and hold him. But as I tried to do that, he raised his hand and stopped me. “I’ve asked you, over and over, to keep what happened between us in the past. But you keep ignoring me, so please, please let it go.” He calmed his breath, his hands clenched into tight fists. “Kai and I might have an odd arrangement, but it’s working for the two of us.”

My brows pulled into a frown. “Judging by your tears, it sure doesn’t look like it.”

His lips trembled before he took another deep breath. “I love being with him,” he admitted. “It’s easy.”

Easy.

Ashton tossing that word felt like a punch to the gut, but I deserved it. After all, being with me was everything but easy. My wealth, job, and charm were nothing but coverage to hide what I truly was. A freak. A man who counted photos to fall asleep or got annoyed when a bunch of papers didn’t sit in a neat pile. A man who was so scared that he’d be left alone that he did everything in his power to isolate the one person he truly loved. And now, that same person couldn’t have a normal relationship because of the way I had hurt him, and instead, Ashton had settled for this open relationship nonsense. I knew this was an arrangement that worked for some people, and I respected that, but not for Ashton. He was a monogamist in the purest sense of the word. He wanted to be owned, to be cherished, and loved by one person to the point of dying without the other. It was what I wanted, too, and it was exactly what I gave him—until I didn’t.

No wonder he looked at me with such hurt in his eyes after I took our life away.

My throat dried as an awful taste filled my mouth. I felt like crying, too, but I held back from embarrassing myself even more. And if it weren’t for how he’d just begged me to stop bringing up the past, I might have been just tempted enough to tell him why I’d left. But what was the point of digging into closed wounds?

“I understand,” I admitted, my stare locked with his because I refused to look away from his pain. “Life is a lot easier when you don’t need to deal with someone like me.” I was a confident man, but I still had my insecurities the same as any other human. Although, it only ever mattered when Ashton was involved. Any other person’s opinion never mattered. Only his. Always his.

Ashton’s eyes widened. “Soren, that’s not what I meant—”

“I know.” I smiled at him because even when he was mad, he was simply precious. “I know you didn’t mean it, but it is what it is. And I’m sorry for hurting you and for continuing to do so.” I looked aside at the big window that splashed the room with sunlight, thinking how Ashton was my eternal sun. Even in my darkest hour, he was still there, waiting behind rain clouds to shine on my day. He could be miles away, but his warmth would forever reach me, even to the bottom of the ocean my heart was currently sunk in. “You can hate me all you want, and rightfully so. But you can’t expect me to stop caring about you, Ashton, because that is simply impossible.”

He didn’t say a word in response, and that was okay. I didn’t tell him that in order to squeeze out an emotional reaction but to make sure he knew it—that no matter what, I’d forever care for him.

Ash

“You sure you don’t want me there today?” Kai asked after handing me a cup of coffee. Our fingers touched as I took it from him, and I wished to crawl back into bed with him. Not only because I loved spending mornings with Kai but because whenever I thought about taking the stand today, my stomach turned, and I felt like vomiting.

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best.” I kissed his cheek and was ready to go and see if the boys were ready when Kai cupped the back of my neck, turned me around, and pulled me into a kiss.

Taken by surprise, I dove into it with an open mouth, groaning at the invasion of his tongue. With his arms wrapped around me, he pressed me closer to his body while eating my mouth until my whole body turned hot. Realizing the kiss was turning too passionate, I placed my hand on his strong chest.

“Kai, s-stop,” I chuckled, trying to push him away. “If one of the kids come down—”

“I don’t care,” he whispered, his naughty fingers slipping underneath my shirt.

Since we had a couple more minutes, I allowed him to stroke my skin while I slowly sipped my coffee.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” he said, surprising me.

“Why are you apologizing again?”

Kai told me what had happened with Soren at the restaurant that same night. I wasn’t angry with him because from the start, I’d been the one to push him in the direction of sleeping with other people.

Kai shrugged, his hands still around me. “I guess it felt awkward? I dunno. I still feel like crap over it.” He dropped his arms. “Do you think maybe I should stop?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, watching as he pulled his hair into a half bun. He was always sexy with that hairstyle.

“I’m talking about fucking around… I can stop doing it if it’s bothering you.”

I nearly spat out my coffee.

Putting my mug aside, I cleared my throat. “Why would you suddenly bring it up?” This was a big thing to discuss right before I was about to leave.

Kai shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I guess I don’t want to do something that’s making you feel bad. That night, I was a total asshole for not coming over right after you called.”

I was upset that evening because I did want Kai to be with me, but I also understood he had the right to do whatever he wanted.

What he was saying only made the thoughts I’d had ever since my argument with Soren yesterday resurface. Was I actually okay with Kai fucking around? Of course not, but it felt only fair to share him with others, knowing I could never give him my whole heart. Though, since he was the one to bring it up—

“Yeah,” I said, my lips curling.