Page 12 of All Bets Are Off

“Hey, John, how about we spend these winnings on a golfing weekend?” Liam suggests, and I fight with everything in me not to release a sigh as John fist bumps him in agreement.

I glance up from the wheel, and across the table, where my eyes naturally meet Connor’s. The past hour, he’s barely even sat down. He’s on his feet, hands pressed to the edge of the table, taking the roulette very seriously. Every once in a while, our gazes cross paths, and something sparks in his dark brown eyes every single time. I usually glance away quickly, but this time, I hold the eye contact.

I will always, always have a soft spot for Connor Lexington. And that is not a thought that should be running through my mind on my bachelorette weekend while I’m snuggled up against my fiancé’s arm, but damn it, I think it anyway.

Connor was incredibly sweet and caring, even as a bonehead high-school senior, and always put me first. His emotional maturity was seriously advanced for a seventeen-year-old. Connor was kind and patient and gentle and forgiving and actually communicated with me. There were never any tears or tantrums, and that must surely be unheard of for two kids in their first relationship in high school.

The only time I ever cried over Connor was when he broke the news that he’d been accepted into the Marine Corps, and that he’d be leaving for basic training after graduation. It shouldn’t have been a surprise—he’d been very forthcoming all throughout high school about his dream of joining the forces—but suddenly it all became real, and we knew the relationship was never going to survive. We were just too young. We needed to put ourselves first and forge our own paths in life, so we agreed to break up after graduation, and it hurt like hell.

I thought I was long over the pain of parting ways with Connor. It was nine years ago, for God’s sake, but as we hold each other’s gaze across this roulette table, I feel the lurch of my heart, the energy bubbling in my veins, the magnetic pull toward him . . . Connor Lexington was my safe place, and I haven’t felt safe in a very long time.

Pressure builds in my throat, all the way through my cheeks and up to my eyes. I have the overwhelming urge to burst into tears.

“Hey, I’m going to go touch up my make-up,” I murmur into Liam’s ear as I move to untangle myself from his arm.

“I’ll come with you. I need to pee,” Liam says, then nudges his stack of gambling chips toward John. “Keep on playing my numbers for me. I’ll be back in a sec.”

Liam and I both get to our feet, his hand immediately slipping into mine. He leads the way through the packed casino floor toward the restrooms, and en route we spy Melissa engrossed in a slot machine. There’s still no sign of Hailey and Theo making their return, and now Evie is nowhere to be seen either. The start of my bachelorette weekend hasn’t exactly turned out like I envisioned. We’re all scattered throughout the hotel, and Liam, who wasn’t in my vision at all, is squeezing my hand a little too tight.

When we reach the restrooms and I try to pull away into the women’s half, Liam tightens his grip further. I glance back at him over my shoulder, sensing he has something to say.

“You’re happy I’m here, aren’t you, Addy?” he asks. His expression has shifted as doubt flares in his eyes. “You don’t think I’m ruining your bachelorette plans, right?”

I can’t give him the truth, but I can give him the answer he wants. The safe answer. I smile brightly and say, “Of course I’m happy you’re here!”

“Good,” he says, smiling with relief. He draws our intertwined hands to his lips and grazes a quick kiss over my knuckles.

I retract my hand from his and toy nervously with the sash around my torso. “I better join the girls at the slots now. You have fun with the guys, and then we’ll regroup later when we’ve both become millionaires, okay?”

Liam rolls his eyes with a scoff. “Whatever, Addy. If you want to waste your time on the slots, you go do that. You know where to find me.”

He spins around and heads into the men’s restrooms, so I disappear into the women’s and try to swallow the guilt that rises up inside me.

A small part of me believed—hoped, rather—that maybe this weekend would be different. That we’d both be happy, celebrating our upcoming marriage with our closest friends, and it wouldn’t feel like I was being pulled in a thousand different directions. I want to keep Liam happy, but I also want to enjoy the things I love. As selfish as it sounds, I wanted this weekend to be about me for once. My wants, my needs, my happiness, yet already I can feel it happening—I’m putting Liam first, like I always do. I can’t upset him.

I dry off my hands and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I bite down on my lip, wishing Liam didn’t put so much pressure on me these days. People say that every relationship needs some give and take, but sometimes I feel like he only seems to take while I only seem to give.

Taking a breath, I touch up my concealer, powder my face, and apply a fresh layer of satin lipstick. The endless hours of sipping on cocktails all day are starting to get to me now, and I feel more sleepy-drunk than wild-drunk, and honestly? I have no idea how I’m going to maintain enough energy to hit the club later. My feet are starting to hurt in these heels, too. Ugh.

Composing myself, I finally emerge from the restrooms, but the moment I step out onto the casino floor, someone blocks me. A panicked gasp rips from my throat.

“Jesus, Connor,” I breathe, placing my hand over my heart as if to ensure it didn’t just miss too many beats at once. “You scared me.”

“Sorry about that,” Connor apologizes. He steps back to offer me some space, but instead of heading into the restrooms, he lingers. “Liam headed back to the table.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m going to try my luck on the slots now,” I say with a small laugh.

I lied when I told Melissa being around Connor isn’t awkward despite our history, because it is—it’s so horribly awkward because I can never look at Connor Lexington without remembering all the butterflies his perfect smile used to set off within me, and after nine damn years, I shouldn’t still feel this heat between us, yet it’s always there, burning like a wildfire.

He’s not flashing that smile right now, though. The twitch of the muscle in his jaw tells me his teeth are clenched, and his nervous energy makes me nervous too. His dark gaze travels from the crown of my head to the tip of my toes, analyzing every inch of me, and I become paralyzed under his scrutiny. Connor is tall and broad and built like a Marine. Even as he has matured into this hardened, masculine exterior, all muscles and tattoos, I know he still has the heart of a golden retriever. A lump constricts my throat. It feels like he can see straight through me, and I can’t bear the silence between us for a second longer.

“Yes . . .?” I prompt.

“How are things with Liam?” he asks, and I blink at him in confusion.

My only response is another uncomfortable tinkle of laughter.

Connor looks at me, really looks at me with those warm brown eyes of his staring straight into my soul, and says, “I know, Adelaide.”