Page 35 of No Charm Done

Stop it. Focus on the crisis at hand.

“Partake of this libation, mortals,” Louise intoned from her throne-like chair. “’Tis a most singular blend, cultivated in realms where shadows feast upon the dreams of the dying.”

“Yeah,” Elias muttered, “smells about right.”

Luna obediently lifted the cup to her lips and took the tiniest possible sip. It tasted exactly as bad as it smelled, with bonus notes of sulfur and heartbreak.

“Now then . . .” Apparently satisfied by their suffering, Louise was ready to reveal her mind at last. “Shall we discuss the mess you’ve made?”

Luna’s stomach flip-flopped, and not just from the tea. “What mess?”

“Do not feign innocence with she who gazes into the writhing abyss of mortal folly. That display of mystic prowess you so carelessly wrought before Ashton Vex? When both of you strutted and preened like creatures in the throes of some primitive mating ritual?”

Heat flooded Luna’s cheeks. Mating ritual. That was uncomfortably accurate.

“Just exercising a little harmless magic for the rube,” Elias said, though his tone suggested he already knew this explanation wasn’t going to fly.

“Just what, you misguided spawn of entropy? You don’t even belong in this timeline! Yet you carelessly unleash forces beyond your pitiful comprehension? And in the presence of one whose essence is devoted to the commodification of that which should remain sacred? Your paltry water-weaving, your perversion of innocent holiday decorations? This provided our avaricious visitor with precisely the inspiration his mercenary soul required.”

“What sort of inspiration are we talking about here?” Elias asked, though Luna could hear the wariness creeping into his voice.

“The variety that spawns what these modern mortals term ‘applications,’ Mr. Shaw.”

“Listen, sweetheart,” he said, that familiar note of irritation entering his voice, “you’re gonna need to talk some English here because I still got no idea what you’re blathering about.”

Oh no, Luna thought. She could see Louise’s violet eyes narrow to lethal slits. If he thinks I get upset when he calls me sweetheart, wait until— Before Luna could even finish the thought, Louise lifted one finger in Shaw’s direction and he vanished.

The silence that followed was deafening. Luna stared helplessly at Louise, and the time witch stared vengefully back. Even the timepieces throughout the shop seemed to hold their breath.

I have to say something, Luna thought. But what could I possibly say that would not make this terrible situation even worse? “Ah, Louise? Um . . . where . . . ah, where did you send Elias?”

The ancient witch glowered. “Where he belongs.”

Elias abruptly reappeared in his chair. His tie was undone, his immaculate suit was smoking in several places, and he had that thousand-yard stare shared by everyone who’d ever pissed Louise off. “The sky was on fire . . .” he whispered, staring at nothing. “And the dinosaurs . . . dear God, the dinosaurs were screaming . . .”

Luna quickly reached over and patted out a small flame that had started on his lapel. “You okay?”

Elias blinked several times. A sudden and violent coughing fit resulted in a lungful of ash spilling out of his mouth and onto the floor. He gazed up at Louise in newfound, terrified respect. “My sincere apologies, ma’am. Won’t happen again, ma’am.”

“Best not. Now, gaze upon the fruits of your reckless exhibition.” She gestured to the air, and images began to form, like a movie projected onto smoke. “Ashton Vex will succeed in ensnaring the very essence of magic within his infernal contraptions—portable devices that any wretched mortal may wield to bend reality to their pathetic whims. Spells once reserved for the talented few will become accessible to anyone for a trivial fee. Charms for luck, love, and even power could be downloaded at a whim. All respect for magic will be lost, as it becomes no more than a novelty to be manipulated. He has christened this abomination . . . CastR.”

“That’s impossible,” Luna said immediately. “Magic doesn’t work that way. You can’t just digitize it.”

The images shifted, showing what looked like a gleaming tech office, full of people in expensive casual wear and ON sneakers. Luna watched in growing horror as one of them pointed their phone at a wilted plant and watched it bloom instantly. Another waved their phone across their coffee mug and it levitated off the table.

“He’s actually doing it,” Luna whispered. “He’s turning magic into . . . into Candy Crush.”

“When this horror is unleashed upon the writhing masses,” Louise continued, “it shall place the forces of creation within reach of every smartphone-wielding bag of bones, for the paltry sum of $2.99 per lunar cycle. Premium incantations shall, naturally, command higher tribute.”

“Now listen here—” Elias started, then caught himself and quickly amended, “I mean, respectfully speaking, ma’am. This is nuts.”

“Ohhh dear, can such blasphemy be so? Yes, it is so! Even the most rudimentary magics, when placed in the grubby hands of millions of untrained mortals, shall render obsolete every witch and conjurer who draws breath.”

Luna felt sick. “People won’t need us.”

“That’s only the beginning. Picture: some lovesick fool attempts to ensnare the heart of another with a love spell, but instead summons forth a demon. A child seeks to curse a rival and accidentally dooms an entire bloodline to eternal suffering. A doctor uses magic to save a terminal patient but unleashes a plague instead.” Louise’s images shifted: fires, floods, people running in terror.

“Well, look,” Elias said after a beat. “What do you say we just take a little trip back in time and⁠—”