Page 18 of No Charm Done

“When I began to fall so low . . . I didn’t have a friend and no place to go . . .” The voice was getting closer—an impressive feat in itself, since most new arrivals were too distracted by the unforgiving descent to attempt any sort of movement. Stranger still was how untroubled the voice was. Off-key, sure, but relaxed. Not the sound of someone free-falling through an interdimensional void while being molested by Void eels.

“How is she so calm?” Max crept toward the threshold of their sanctuary. “When I arrived, I was screaming like I was on fire.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“So if I ever get my hand on a dollar again, I’m gonna hold on to it ’til them eagles grin. Nobody knows you, when you’re down and out . . . Oh! A door! Excellent!”

The waiting room’s outer door flew open. A young woman stepped through, and Elias had to admit she was quite a picture. Curly blond locks that looked like she’d just stepped out of a salon, rather than an unending void. Sharp green eyes that surveyed the room, suggesting she found the whole situation more interesting than terrifying.

Which didn’t make a lick of sense.

“Hello,” she said brightly. “I’m Luna Melrose. I’m here to rescue Elias Shaw. Is he here?”

Max scrambled to his feet, his cape tangling around his legs. “Maximillian the Magnificent, pleasure to make your acquaintance.

“Ohhhh, it’s . . . you.” Her bright expression dimmed. “Hello, Max. Should have known you’d end up here eventually. What’d you do this time?”

“Wait, you know me?”

“Yeah, you’re kind of a dick.”

“Melrose, did you say?” Elias interrupted. “Are you some relation of Kelly Melrose? She was one snazzy tomato, I’ll tell you that for free.”

“My mother?!” Luna made a face. “A snazzy tomato?”

“I’ll say! My name’s Elias Shaw. I take it you’re here for me, sweetheart?”

“I’m not your sweetheart, but yes. Apparently you helped keep my mother and her friends safe until they could be rescued. So now I’m here to return the favor.”

“Lady, do you have any idea where here is? Do you understand where you are right now? Because your singing suggests to me that you don’t.”

“Sure, this is the Void, isn’t it? Interdimensional prison space between portals. Remarkably depressing décor, I must say.” Luna looked around with obvious distaste. “Seriously, who chose beige?”

Elias chuckled. “You got a point. A little flash wouldn’t kill ’em.”

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Max interjected. “You’re not screaming. You’re not even scared.”

“Should I be?”

“What about the constant falling into nothingness? What about the Void eels?”

“Void eels, is that what you call them? Cute. No, listen: magical creatures like those are easily tamed with the right melody. And the falling sensation is just a matter of a quick spell to adjust your inner ear. Honestly? Compared to whiny hotel guests, Void eels are downright relaxing.”

Elias found himself torn between admiration and annoyance. On one hand, any broad who could stroll into the Void like it was a garden party must be made of pretty stern stuff. On the other hand, this gal’s complete lack of respect for the horrors herein made him suddenly feel a few inches shorter than usual.

“Listen,” Luna continued, “about that rescue. I have a one-way ticket out of here, courtesy of a very cranky god. So let’s get rolling.”

“Oh, Luna . . .” Max cleared his throat. “I hate to even ask this, but . . . what year is it now? Because I’ve been here since 2026.”

“It’s um . . .” Luna frowned. “It’s still 2026, Max. Why, how long do you think you’ve been here?”

At the same time, Max and Elias said “four years” and “four days” respectively.

“I’ll admit,” Elias added, “it does feel like I’ve been putting up with him for four years.”

“I’ll bet. Shall we get going?”

“Hold your horses there—2026 don’t mean a thing to me. I got a life waiting for me back in 1926.”