Page 132 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

When I realise that I want to be there for it so badly it hurts I have to turn my head away and stare into the fire for several long breaths. Maybe I will be. Maybe I can be.

Suddenly it hits me, this thing Nico and I are talking about doing. It’s a commitment, a real one, a long one. That’s what we both agreed, but when I try and picture that future… one where I’m not here all the time, one where I might miss things big and small, it hurts in a way that takes me by surprise. It’s not just Phoebe who might struggle.

And there’s also the uncertainty about our marriage. We haven’t spoken about it and I keep thinking I should bring it up. But how can I when the thought of signing divorce papers makes my stomach turn? How can I say, ‘I know we’ve barely started dating, I know I’m leaving to live on the other side of the world, but do you think we could give this whole marriage thing a real shot?’

Way too much. We’re not actually in a Regency romance novel.

‘Darlings! There you are!’ Claudia appears, interrupting my reverie. She’s dressed like Marilyn Monroe in a blonde wig, a pink dress, a significant number of diamonds that are almost certainly real, and dragging Charles Saunders along after her. He’s wearing his usual immaculate suit, but with a bowler hat as well, which I suppose makes it a costume of some sort.

I haven’t seen him since the disastrous meeting on Saturday, despite the outrageous number of emails I sent begging for a face-to-face.

‘Hi, Ma.’ Nico kisses her on the cheek. ‘You look great.’

‘Oh, I know,’ Claudia agrees. ‘And to think, I just threw it together! Halloween completely slipped my mind this year, but this is charming, totally charming, isn’t it, Charlie?’

‘It is,’ he agrees, and from the way he’s beaming at Claudia, perhaps he’s not as unhappy with me as I thought.

I am flooded with optimism. Maybe we’re actually going to get away with this. All the situation requires is a heartfelt apology to seal the deal, and I am so ready to grovel.

‘Mr Saunders,’ I begin, ‘I really need to—’

‘Ophelia, baby!’ a voice shouts from nearby, and I turn around to see a man pushing through the crowd towards us.

Oh, shit.

Chapter Forty-Three

Nico

‘Is that…’ I start, staring at the man coming towards us, wearing a powder blue velvet suit that I am ninety-eight per cent sure is not a costume.

‘Frankie,’ Lee agrees, her voice several octaves higher than usual.

Holy shit. This is bad. This is very, very bad.

‘Who’s Frankie?’ Charles asks.

Yup, so bad. We are totally fucked. I do not think that introducing Charles to the notorious former head of a prominent crime family who has no idea about our fake back story is going to go down well.

‘He’s a friend from work,’ Lee chokes out, just as Frankie reaches us.

‘Frankie,’ she manages, ‘what on earth are you doing here?’

‘What do you think?’ Frankie exclaims, his eyes huge behind his enormous glasses. He plants a noisy kiss on Lee’s cheek. ‘I got guys everywhere so when I heard the news, I had to come and see for myself. After all,’ he dusts off the wide lapels of his jacket, ‘I think I had a little bit to do with it. Who do we have here?’

‘Um, these are my friends Tara and Luke,’ Lee says, ‘Claudia and Charles. And of course you know… Nico.’

‘Her husband,’ my mum adds helpfully, because there’s nothing she enjoys more than pouring petrol on a fire.

‘Yeah, I know.’ Frankie’s expression flattens; he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his cigar case. ‘In fact, if it hadn’t been for my high-priced champagne—’

‘Mr Saunders!’ Tara breaks in, clearly sensing things are about to go badly awry. ‘Have you had a cup of hot chocolate yet? I know Kat was super excited for you personally to try it.’

‘Oh, really?’ Charles looks slightly bemused. ‘I’m not actually much of a hot chocolate fan.’

‘Don’t tell Kat,’ Luke puts in, following Tara’s lead. ‘She’s been talking about it all week.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t want to be rude…’ Charles murmurs.