Page 25 of Let’s Make a Scene
“It’s not like it’s a secret,” Patty exclaims. “Everyone knows that they’re terrible. At this point there are about a hundred books and documentaries and an Emmy Award–winning mini-series about the two of them behaving outrageously. If you ask me, Caroline enjoyed playing up to the image of the demanding diva.”
“We haven’t met Jack yet,” Liam puts in, “but obviously we’re already Team Cyn.”
“We should get T-shirts,” Hannah says. “And then we should wear them in front of him.”
I feel something loosen in my chest. God, this is nice. To feel safe and comfortable and to remember that I am a normal human who doesn’t have any trouble making friends. This weird standoff with Jack has clearly thrown me off-balance in more ways than one.
“Of course, the real problem is that the man is so gorgeous he can get away with anything,” Patty says now.
“Boooooo!” Hannah jeers.
“Hey, buddy.” Patty gestures to her with her scissors. “A fact is a fact. He may be a terrible human, but at least it should be no hardship staring at his face all day.”
“You’d think,” I mutter.
“Patty has absolutely awful taste in men,” Liam confides.
“That is true,” Patty agrees easily. “The worse they are, the better I like them.”
“Then you’re going to love Jack,” I grumble.
“The guy she just broke up with…” Liam shudders dramatically.
“Hey!” Patty interjects. “Brian wasn’t that bad.”
Liam catches my eye in the mirror. “Brian had an un-ironic goatee and drove a hearse.”
“A hearse?” I repeat blankly. “As in an actual hearse? Like for funerals?”
“He won it in a bet,” Patty hums, stepping in front of me and leaning in to snip my fringe, “and you know what, you could park that thing anywhere without getting a ticket, and no one ever cut you off in traffic. I’ve never known drivers in London to be so respectful. Sure… he can only drive twenty miles an hour, but he said he’d never go back to a normal car now.”
“That is so wrong.” Liam shakes his head as the rest of us burst into laughter.
“Anyway,” Patty says once we’ve recovered. “The question is, after the way he’s behaved… how are we going to even the score with Jack Turner-Jones?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, interested despite myself.
Patty puckers her lips. “Well, I’ve got four brothers, so if you want to talk pranks then I’m your girl. Prank wars on set are a time-honored tradition. George Clooney is an absolute menace.”
I groan. “I would love that,” I say, “but unfortunately, I think I need to try being super professional and mature. Even if he is despicable.”
“Take the high road, babe.” Liam nods. “Karma will get him in the end, anyway.”
“All I’m saying is that sometimes karma needs a helping hand,” Patty replies. “Now”—she steps back—“what do you think?”
I look in the mirror, and my mouth falls open. “How did you do that?” I ask.
“I’m a witch,” she replies, and I’m not sure she’s joking.
It certainly seems possible, because my hair is no longer a tragic disaster, but a very cute pixie cut that makes my eyes look enormous and my cheekbones razor-sharp. Although, that could also be down to Liam and his magic potions.
“Not many people have the bone structure to pull this look off.” Patty eyes me critically in the mirror. “But you have a great face.”
“I’ll say,” Liam chimes in. “The cupid’s bow! The eyes! It’s going to be a dream on camera. You’re definitely giving Audrey Hepburn.”
Once more I’m embarrassed to find myself blinking away tears. “Sorry!” I say mistily, “I know it’s silly, but I feel so much better. At least I won’t be walking around looking like a disaster. One less thing to worry about.”
“It doesn’t sound silly at all.” Patty is brisk. “There’s a lot of power in what we do, and from now on Liam and I have your back, okay?” Her hand closes on my shoulder. “Now, let’s have a look at these wigs. We’ll get them on and style them and take some Polaroids for Jasmine to look over. She and Logan are already running around like headless chickens. You’d think having two directors would mean they’d each have half the workload, but I swear the two of them can’t agree on anything.”
